Chapters (11)
“I believe that everything we do, everything we think, contributes to the whole, so that nothing is wasted.”
Yamina had tried to understand, but she had been too young at the time.
Later she had thought how the seasons came and went and the seed and leaf from a tree went back into the soil, only to create other trees and other leaves.
‘Perhaps we are the same,’ she thought to herself, ‘in which case there is no death, but only rebirth.’
That was the message she was sure her father was trying to give her.
Yet it was hard to think of anything now save her immediate predicament and the decision she had to make, which might mean the end of her life since if she could never get away there would be nothing for her to look forward to except death.
“What am I to do, Hamid?” she asked with a sudden feeling of terror.
“You have always been brave, Mistress,” he answered, “like the Master. You both have great courage.”
That was the right reply, Yamina thought.
It was courage she needed now, courage that could take her on this strange adventure to which she could not see the end. Yet she had the feeling that she was not entirely alone.
She would be sustained and helped, if not by her father, by someone who had saved them from falling into the hands of the enemy at Balaclava, who had brought them in safety to Constantinople.
That Someone or Something had also enabled them to live for six months together and content, even though they were deprived of the luxuries they were accustomed to or even the comfort of security.
‘I have not been unhappy these six months,’ Yamina thought to herself and knew that it was true.
There had been a strange happiness in the comradeship that united her father, Hamid and herself.
There had been a feeling that they were protected and that Someone greater than themselves was caring for them.
She could not explain it and yet it had been there.
They had not harmed anyone, they hurt no one, and their hearts were certainly not at war.
They only wanted peace and so mentally they had found peace in this uncomfortable little Turkish house hidden in the enemy Capital.
They had no friends, no one to turn to but themselves and yet, against all odds, they had survived up to this moment.
‘Now I have to face the future alone,’ Yamina told herself and knew that was why it was more frightening than anything she had experienced in the past.
When she entered the harem, she would find herself without the support she had always relied on of her father and of Hamid.
It was like starting out on a dangerous voyage not knowing her final destination and knowing of nothing for sure but the fact that she would be – alone.