Petronius and I went back a long time. We joined the army on the same day, finding each other in the queue to take the oath to the Emperor, and finding too that we had been brought up only five streets apart. We were tent mates for seven years and when we came home we had another thing in common: we were veterans of the Second Augustan Legion in Britain. Not only that, we were veterans of the Second at the time of Queen Boudicca’s Revolt against Rome. So because of the Second’s abysmal performance, we both left the army eighteen years early and we both had something we never wanted to talk about.

“Poke your eyes back in,” I told him. “Her name’s Helena.”

“Hello, Helena. What a pretty name! Falco, where did you find that?”

“Running a foot race round the Temple of Saturn.” I had chosen to answer with such simple honesty because there was a slim chance Petronius already knew. Besides, I wanted the girl to believe she was dealing with a man who told the truth.

I introduced the watch captain to my dazzling client: “Petronius Longus, district patrolman; the best.”

“Good evening, sir,” she said.

I guffawed bitterly. “Take a job in local government, women will call you ‘sir’! Sweetheart, there’s no need to overdo it.”

“Take no notice of this tricky character,” Petronius scoffed in his easy way, smiling at her with an interest I did not altogether like.

She smiled back at him, so I clipped tersely, “We men want to gossip with a wine jug; go into the bedroom and wait for me.”

She shot me a look, but she went. That’s the benefit of a liberal education, this little girl knew she lived in a man’s world. Besides, she had pretty manners and it was my house.

“Nice!” approved Petronius, in a low voice.

He has a wife, who for some reason adores him. He never refers to her, but must care about her; he’s the type who would. They have three daughters, and like a good Roman father he is utterly sentimental about his girls. I could see a day coming when the Tullianum jail would be crammed with frightful young sprogs who had cast their beady eyes at Petro’s girls.