She takes a document out of her pocket, holds it up and quickly puts it away again.

PANTALONA is convinced and parts SILVIO and CLARICE.

PANTALONA: Okay, that is proof enough.

CLARICE: Silvio, it’s a lost cause!

SILVIO: Life I am willing to lose, but not you, my love.

PANTALONA: This wedding is back on. Dear son-in-law, come to Mamma. Forgive me for doubting you.

CLARICE: Mamma, are you absolutely sure?

PANTALONA: Sure enough.

CLARICE: Oh, unhappy me! What will become of us?

SILVIO: Don’t worry I tell you, you are mine and I shall defend you!

SILVIO whips out his sword.

BEATRICE: Is this gentleman a relative of yours?

PANTALONA: Yes … he is my nephew.

SILVIO: No, Signor, I am not her nephew, I am Clarice’s fiancé.

DOTTORE: Bravo. [Good boy.] Speak your mind … but calmly.

BEATRICE: Clarice’s fiancé? Wasn’t she to be married to me?

PANTALONA: Oh yes, but you know, we thought you were dead, so she was given to Silvio. Anyway, you arrived just in time. Clarice is yours. If you want her, please take her.

CLARICE: [to BEATRICE] Are you happy to have a wife who has already promised her hand to another?

BEATRICE: Sì, I’m not fussy. [Aside] I want to have a bit of fun with this.

SILVIO: Signor, you are too late. Clarice is mine and I will take revenge on whoever tries to take her. I will fight them with this sword!

DOTTORE: Signora Clarice will marry my son. The law is clear on this. [Latin gibberish or grommelot.]¹ You have caused us deep offence.

SILVIO: You haven’t heard the last of this.

DOTTORE and SILVIO exit.

BEATRICE: And you, dear bride, have you nothing to say?

CLARICE: I say, that you have come to torment me.

CLARICE exits.

PANTALONA: That little wag. [Aside to the audience] I said ‘wag’, not ‘wog’. ‘Wog’ is offensive so we don’t say the word ‘wog’. Okay? Don’t say ‘wog’.

Lazzo of ‘Don’t Say the Word’: All the characters repeat the phrase, ‘Don’t say the word “wog”’, including the audience in the game.

BEATRICE: Signora Pantalona, I feel for her, we cannot be too harsh. With time she may even come to like me. For now, let us go and discuss business.

BRIGHELLA enters.

BRIGHELLA: Pantalona, la riverisco [I revere you].

PANTALONA: Buongiorno [Good day], Brighella. You’ve come to discuss the menu for the wedding? Listen, nothing fancy, okay? Just a few pizzas and the house wine will do. Now let me introduce you to Signor Federigo Rasponi.

BRIGHELLA: Signor Federigo Rasponi? I thought he was dead?

PANTALONA: So did we; he’s not. It’s a long story. They don’t need to hear it again.

She gestures to the audience.

You know him?

BRIGHELLA: Yes, I was in Turin for three years. I even knew his sister [seeing BEATRICE] Beatrice … Ciao!

BEATRICE gestures behind PANTALONA’s back to keep quiet.

BRIGHELLA: I mean Federigo. Buongiorno, Signora … err, Signor. [Good day, Madam … um, Sir.]