SILVIO: I am—

TRUFFALDINO: I don’t care.

PANTALONA: Okay, that’s enough. Who are you? Who sent you? And what do you want?

TRUFFALDINO: I am Truffaldino Batocchio from Bergamo. Who sent me? My master. And what do I want? Well, that’s easy.

TRUFFALDINO flirts with SMERALDINA.

PANTALONA: [to DOTTORE] This man is an idiot.

DOTTORE: He seems like more of a quack.

SILVIO: Yes, duck, duck goose!

CLARICE: He means charlatan.

SILVIO: I knew that.

PANTALONA: Zitti! [All of you, quiet!] And who is this master of yours?

TRUFFALDINO: Uffa. [Ugh.] It’s a long story. My master is Signor Federigo Rasponi from Turin.

CHORUS reacts.

Federigo Rasponi from Turin?

DOTTORE: Pantalona!

PANTALONA: Dottore …

CLARICE: Silvio!

SILVIO: Clarice!

SMERALDINA: Awkward.

TRUFFALDINO: Yeah, that guy. And he’s waiting outside.

PANTALONA: Get out of here, you madman! Signor Federigo Rasponi is dead.

TRUFFALDINO: What? My master is dead? He was alive when I left him. Are you sure he’s dead?

PANTALONA: Definitely dead.

TRUFFALDINO: Okay, well in that case, I better say my goodbyes. It was nice meeting you all. Ciao, arrivederci … [Goodbye, see you later …]

PANTALONA: What do you say, is he a fox or a fool?

DOTTORE: It seems to be a bit of both.

SMERALDINA: He’s foxy enough for me!

CLARICE: Silvio, if it were true that he were here for me, it would be a disaster.

SILVIO: So what? If he were alive and here in Venice, he would be too late.

TRUFFALDINO re-enters.

TRUFFALDINO: Hey, that’s not very nice, tricking people like that. That’s not how gentlemen behave!

PANTALONA: What?

TRUFFALDINO: Yeah, I’m talking to you. Signor Federigo Rasponi is alive. Not dead and he’s here.

PANTALONA: You’re crazy!

TRUFFALDINO: No, you’re crazy!

PANTALONA: Your mum’s crazy!

TRUFFALDINO: Don’t make me rapper-swear, dog!

PANTALONA: Hold me back or I’ll smash his face!

TRUFFALDINO: Hold me back or I’ll slap her with a donkey’s testicle.

DOTTORE: Per favore [Please], everybody stay calm.

CLARICE: Silvio mio [My Silvio], I am shaking all over.

SILVIO: Don’t worry, whatever happens, you’ll be mine.

BEATRICE enters.

BEATRICE: Signora Pantalona, the courtesy and kindness that you have demonstrated in your correspondence does not correspond with the ill treatment that I have received in person. I send my servant to ask for permission to enter and you dare to make me wait outside for more than thirty minutes.

PANTALONA: Forgive me, but who—?

BEATRICE: Federigo Rasponi of Turin! La riverisco. [Your obedient servant.]

TRUFFALDINO: I told you. [To SMERALDINA] I’ll call you.

BEATRICE: [to TRUFFALDINO] Go and wait for me outside.

TRUFFALDINO exits.

PANTALONA: I’m astonished. But glad to see you are alive and well.

BEATRICE: I know, it was reported that I died in a duel. Thank heavens I was only wounded, and as soon as I was better I came to Venice as we’d already planned.

PANTALONA: I don’t know what to say.

DOTTORE: Don’t say anything more. This man is clearly an imposter.

BEATRICE: You are correct to doubt me, but I can easily prove my identity with this document.