I do know that feeling she’s describing, but at the moment my thoughts are all about Mum coming back. I don’t have room in my head to worry about more. I know I should tell my friends that Mum’s returning but, right now, I’m not sure I want to.

‘I totally get that feeling,’ says Ellie quietly, and I realise that she’s probably thinking about her mum.

‘Oh, I’m so sorry, Ellie. I didn’t mean to upset you,’ says Bridge, realising what she’s just said.

‘No, it’s fine. I totally get it,’ says Ellie. ‘When Mum was dying it was all about those “lasts”, and now she’s gone it’s all about the “firsts”. The “first Christmas without her”, the “first birthday without her”, and now the “first day of high school without her”.’

‘That sucks,’ says Bridge, grabbing Ellie’s hand.

‘Yeah. It really does.’

Because they both have shopping bags in their other hands, I have no hand to grab, so I walk next to them all the way to the bus stop, wondering where I fit.

We have so many bags between us that we have to spread ourselves across the back seat of the bus. Bridge has ended up in the middle and she’s bonding with Ellie over the joys of having a little brother. I hear Ellie laugh as Bridge imitates her brother eating cereal in the morning. For a second, my stomach flips, so I edge a bit closer, my legs sticking on the warm vinyl seat.

‘I actually think I might miss my brother this year,’ says Ellie. ‘I’m so used to looking out for him at school that it might be weird not having him around.’

‘Really? I can’t wait!’ says Bridge. ‘Mine drives me mad. And I used to have to walk him home from school two nights a week. Now I’m free.’

‘Your brother’s okay,’ I say quietly, just wanting to be part of the conversation.

‘No, he’s not. Remember last time you stayed over and he sat outside my door with a glass against it trying to listen in!’

I laugh, remembering Bridge opening her bedroom door and her brother tumbling forward with a glass in his hand. He pretended he’d just had a drink and was bending down to pick something up.

‘How will you get to school, Bridge?’ Ellie asks.

I feel a tiny frown flicker across my face – Ellie’s just used Bridget’s nickname.

‘Probably bus. I might ride sometimes. It’s not actually that far on a bike, but Mum’s being a bit funny about me riding in traffic. How about you?’