When we were in the bathroom…did you come in there because you wanted me to touch you? Or were you doing it because you think it’s what I want? Because you’re scared of losing me if we don’t do this?

I’m scared that I’ll lose you if we do and I’m scared that I’ll lose you if we don’t.

Hope had dissolved into fear in an instant. The mere thought of Tilly regretting her? Resenting her? The last thing on earth Kate wanted was to pressure Tilly when her judgment seemed as clouded as the midday sky.

“Kate, look at me.”

“I’m tired, Til. Can we please just let it go?”

“Maybe you wouldn’t be so tired if you’d been an adult and stayed and talked it through with me last night.”

Kate turned. “You didn’t want to talk after the ferry kiss.”

Tilly’s eyes gaze locked on hers. “You’re the one who suggested we forget it.”

“Because you pulled away. Because you ran away.” Because you’re always running away.

Kate’s stomach somersaulted. Memory barrelled at her at full-speed—Tilly’s horrified expression on the ferry, Tilly’s hand on hers in the café, Tilly in the elevator, Tilly running from the bathroom. Tilly’s uncertainty was a roller coaster. And here they were, halted at the steepest point of the track, suspended upside down, ready to surge full circle and claim that blood-rushing thrill, that mind-numbing charge. Stuck.

Kate shivered. “I think we need to put some space between us.”

“Space?” Tilly’s eyes brightened with unshed tears.

“What happened last night can’t happen again.” Because it’s breaking my heart. “You have no idea what it is that you want and you’re engaged to somebody else,” she said bluntly. She looked out the window. Ahead, the hills of Lords were shadow-speckled. They were minutes from pulling up to the slipway. Lords Pier stretched out like a helping hand to welcome them home. “Until you figure out what you’re feeling,” Kate said woodenly, “I think maybe you should move into the convent for a while.”

The suggestion fell heavily on the breath of air between them, and for a moment, Kate didn’t dare pull her gaze from outside. It wasn’t a good idea for Tilly to move out—Kate knew that. If Tilly moved from the cottage, there would be questions from the sisters, and worse, it would drive a wedge between them, only serve to sever the chord of friendship that had already frayed to expose a live wire.

Tilly’s stare was hard, undeterred. “You’ve had that up your sleeve for a while, have you?”

Kate shook her head. “No.”

The horn sounded, sudden and sharp. Across the ferry, the girls cackled as Emma pulled her head from the window in shock.

Tilly uncrossed her legs and shifted to the edge of the seat. Squaring her shoulders, she leaned closer. Clarity burned hotly in green. “Well I’m not going to do that,” Tilly said. “I’m not moving anywhere.”

Kate’s gaze chased the sway of Tilly’s hips as she crossed the aisle to the girls. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.