I want to crawl under the sofa with the dust bunnies, but I remind myself this is New Orleans. Everyone is larger than life here. Everyone is a float waiting to happen on Mardi Gras.

“What is this?” I ask, indicating her getup with a hand.

“Think of it like business casual.” She slips a large hoop earring into one ear.

I have no words.

Something in my expression must register because she drops the smile and tries to explain.

“Everyone dresses like this or something similar in the square. It’s part of the gig. If you want to get clients, you need to get attention. I do my level best.”

I am sad for her all of a sudden. For the way she feels she must parade herself. I wonder if this is how Moony felt all these years—just sad for her.

When I don’t respond, she gathers her things, folding up the card table and scarves, tucking what she can into a shoulder bag with silk pouches containing her favorite decks. She fills a large plastic bottle with water and ice and tucks it inside with two bananas, a bag of pretzels, and a warm can of soda.

“I’ll be back tonight. I meant what I said. It would be great if you came down and met everyone. You can’t miss the square—everything in the city seems to lead back to it. Just keep walking west until you see the giant cathedral.” She says “cathedral” like it offends her. Like the size and scope of it are ridiculous, even in this grand city.

I don’t say a word. I press my lips between my teeth and look at my sketchbook.

She opens the door to leave but stops. When she turns back to face me, I can feel her watching, but I refuse to look up.

“Cat.”

I pretend to be sketching something, even though I am only running my pencil over the same lines I’ve already drawn.

“I know this doesn’t feel the same for you as it does me, but I can’t pretend that I’m not happy you’re here.”

When I keep my head down, she goes on.

“Not because I take joy in your misery, but because I’ve dreamt of some version of this day for a really long time.”

At that, my head jerks up.

“I know you probably don’t believe that, but it’s true. I can’t explain everything to you in a day. It will take time. There are so many things you don’t know. But if you could just accept that I really, truly love you, it would make everything else a lot easier.”