Chapters (80)
Except for her baby. Who meant more to her than anything else in the world.
She wondered how long Roy had been gone. What if he came back early? What if he caught her? How would he punish her? The fluttery panic grew in her chest. She needed to get moving. On foot, through the woods, in the cold.
For a moment, she fantasized about finding her daddy’s gun, with its familiar cracked walnut grip. Then it wouldn’t matter when Roy came home. She’d wait in the kitchen. When he walked in the door, she’d point the pistol at his chest.
But somehow she couldn’t quite believe that she’d pull the trigger. He would just look at her with those eyes that somehow knew every thought she’d ever had. He’d hold out his hand for the gun, and she’d give it to him.
If that happened, he wouldn’t have to trap her at the house. She’d be his prisoner no matter where she went. Because he’d own her mind.
No, she told herself. That wasn’t going to happen, none of it.
She looked at the keyring again. She saw car keys. Other, smaller keys.
Maybe she wouldn’t have to walk out of here after all.
One of the smaller keys opened the barn’s padlock. She rolled back the wide upper door and saw Frank’s big blue Jeep alongside Hollywood’s little white hatchback. There was a spare Jeep key on Roy’s big ring, but Hollywood had left his on the seat. He’d always talked about how fast the car was. That made the decision easy.
The black trailer was already open. The cardboard box of bills was gone, as was the bin of stolen guns. No green coat, no overnight bag, no pink backpack. Just the freezer, humming away like always.
She felt the frost on her skin, just looking at it. She had to get the hell out of there.
She didn’t need the money. She still had the ring he gave her, although she was sure now it wasn’t a real diamond. She told herself she’d feel free when she was two states away, but she was lying. She’d still be afraid of him ten years from now, walking through the frozen food section of the grocery store.
She got in the car, started the engine, and drove down the ramp. As she passed the house, she threw the ring of Roy’s keys at it, as hard as she could.
36
PETER
NOW