When, poof! the rocket flashed between,

And quite astonished Towzer.

●

Now, if this dog had wit enough

The English tongue to torture,

He might have growled such silly stuff

As, “ Whew! that cat’s a scorcher!”

ELEVENTH FLAT

While Carrie Cook sat with a book

The phonograph played sweetly.

Then came the rocket and it smashed

That instrument completely.

●

Fair Carrie promptly turned her head,

Attracted by the roar.

“ Dear me, I never heard,” she said,

“ That record played before!”

TWELFTH FLAT

De Vere was searching for a match

To light a cigarette,

But failed to find one with despatch,

Which threw him in a pet.

●

Just then the rocket flared up bright

Before his face and crackled,

Supplying him the needed light—

“ Thanks, awfully,” he cackled.

THIRTEENTH FLAT

Home from the shop came Maud’s new hat —

A hat of monstrous size!

It almost filled the tiny flat

Before her ravished eyes.

●

When, sch-u-u! up through the box so proud

The rocket flared and spluttered.

“ I said that hat was all too loud!”

Her peevish husband muttered.

FOURTEENTH FLAT

Tom’s pap had helped him start his train,

And all would have been fine

Had not the rocket, raising Cain,

Blocked traffic on the line.

●

It blew the engine into scrap,

As in a fit of passion.

“ Who would have thought that toy,” said pap,

“Would blow up in such fashion!”

FIFTEENTH FLAT

Orlando Pease, quite at his ease,

The “ Morning Star ” was reading.

“ My dear,” said he to Mrs. Pease,

“ Here’s a report worth heeding.”

●

The rocket then in wanton sport

Flashed through the printed pages.

The lady gasped, “ A wild report!”

Then swooned by easy stages.

SIXTEENTH FLAT

Doc Danby was a stupid guy,

So, lest he sleep too late,

He placed a tattoo clock near by

To waken him at eight.

●

But, ah! the rocket smote that clock

And smashed its way clean through it!

“ You have a fine alarm,” said Doc,

“ But, say, you overdo it!”

SEVENTEENTH FLAT

A penny-liner, Abram Stout,

Was writing a description.

“ The flame shot up,” he pounded out—

Then threw a mild conniption.

●

For through his Flemington there shied

A rocket, hot and mystic.

“ I didn’t mean to be,” he cried,

“ So deuced realistic!”

EIGHTEENTH FLAT

Gus Gummer long had set his head

Upon some strange invention.

“ Be careful, Gus,” his good wife said;

“ It might explode. I mention—”

●

Just then the pesky rocket flared

And wrecked that Yankee notion.

“ I feared as much!” his wife declared;

Then fainted from emotion.

NINETEETH FLAT

While Burt was on his hobby-horse

And riding it like mad,

The rocket on its fiery course

Upset the startled lad.

●

The frightened pony plunged a lot,

Like Fury playing tag.

“ Whoa, Spot!” said Burt. “ Who would have thought

You such a fiery nag!”

TWENTIETH FLAT

A taxidermist plied his trade

Upon a walrus’ head.

It really made him quite afraid

To meet its stare so dread.

●

When suddenly the rocket, bright,