To Alex Lloyd at Pan Macmillan AU, who understood my vision and helped me fine-tune it, thank you for your keen insights and enthusiasm for this project. Thank you to everyone at Pan Macmillan AU and Curtis Brown AU, and a warmhearted thanks to Tara Wynne for believing Marlitt could have a home in Australia.

To the bookstagram community, for all the book recommendations, shared enthusiasm of the written word, and constant affection showered on Bowie. Thank you for the outpouring of love and support you’ve shown me this year.

To my parents: Thank you for instilling a passion for reading in me early, for that adolescent year spent in Germany (even though I sulked for most of it), and for supporting my decision to spend a decade in pursuit of higher education. In hindsight it’s clear that all those experiences shaped this book, and your constant belief in my capabilities gave me courage long before I found it in myself.

To my sister, my confidante, my longest friend, and the strongest woman I know: What would I do without you? Thank you for everything.

To Gray’s family: Thank you for raising such an incredible human and for sharing him with me. None of this would have been possible without him.

It is a rare group of people who come into your life and stay forever. To my friends (you know who you are): Thank you for showing up and caring for me when I didn’t know how to ask. Thank you for the home-cooked meals, opening up your living rooms, stopping by with food and paper products, all those Monday messages, and showing me that laughter was still possible even when everything hurt.

To the friends who shared with me their experiences in Greek life and the brave souls who’ve written articles exposing the shameful secrets of some of these institutions: Thank you. To those mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, families, and friends who’ve lost loved ones in hazing-related incidents, I’m sorry for the ways in which this book fails to articulate the pain. I’m sorry for every life that should have continued and was cut irrevocably short. It shouldn’t be this way. And it’s time for change.

To my students, colleagues, and all the college towns I’ve ever lived in: You inspired the best parts of this book; the worst were (mostly) a product of my imagination. And to Athens in particular: You’re where I met my soul mate, the city where I spent so many years as a student, taught my first classes, and wrote my first book. I hold a special place in my heart for you and have looked for you everywhere I’ve lived since.