“I know.” I went over and slipped the spoon out of Henry’s hand. He barely noticed and kept waving his hand around like a conductor without an orchestra. “So . . . in the interest of honesty, I’m going to tell you what I want to do right now. No one can reach Blake, and I think he’s in big trouble. And it’s all trouble he brought on himself, I know. But . . .”

“You still want to go find him,” she said, reading my thoughts.

“I think it’s the best thing.”

“And take him to the cops?”

“I just want to find out what’s going on,” I said. “Why he’s acting this way.”

Amanda nodded. “I figure I can’t stop you. And for Sam’s sake, I hope he does go and tell the cops whatever he knows. But can you do me a favor?”

“Sure. What?”

She looked up at me again. “Tell him if he was the one creeping outside the house last night to just knock the next time. I’ll try not to bite him.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

I dressed quickly upstairs. For all I knew, Blake had left town, fleeing like a thief in the night to avoid whatever trouble he might have found himself in. Given his refusal to answer calls from anyone—the police and me—was I willing or able to shift my opinion of him? Was it possible for me to accept that Blake might very well have killed Jennifer for the reasons Amanda gave?

Was I ready to accept it, Blake as a murderer, even as a remote possibility?

“No,” I said out loud. And pushed the thought away.

But did I push with as much force as I would have once been able to summon?

Once dressed, I went downstairs and stopped in my office. I took the laptop, sliding it into my messenger bag.

I heard Amanda and Henry in the living room. I went in there to get my coat.

Henry was on the floor, squirming around on a blanket. Amanda sat in a chair nearby, trying to read for her book club. I knew she wouldn’t be able to get much reading accomplished. It was tough to read a book with one eye on the kid.

“I guess it would be foolish of me to ask you not to go,” she said. “To just let Blake deal with his own problems with the police and everything else.”

“You know I have to do this.”

“And you know I’m not going to beg,” she said.

“I know that very well.”