ROSS: I’m not ashamed of him.

SIMMONDS: Is he in the building trade?

ROSS: No.

SIMMONDS: That’s a pity. M’son’s looking for a carpenter. He’s sub-contracting his house. Are you going steady?

ROSS: Sort of.

SIMMONDS: Well, when you get married make sure you don’t go to a project builder. ROSS: Why not?

SIMMONDS: Well, just look at your project builder. What is he? Really?

ROSS: Dunno.

SIMMONDS: He’s just a sub-contractor. Get me?

ROSS: I suppose he is.

SIMMONDS: Your project builder just hires your tradesman, and he isn’t very particular about who he hires, either. No offence to your old man, Ross, but they’ve got carpenters working contract who couldn’t drive a nail into a lump of fresh horse shit. M’son’s worked it out that as well as being able to pick your tradesmen you can save yourself upwards of a grand.

ROSS: Sounds like a good move.

SIMMONDS: Like I say. It’s better to save the stuff than to have to earn it. Pity your old man’s not in the building game.

ROSS: Yeah.

SIMMONDS: Most of the carpenters I know are in the building game. Does he make furniture?

ROSS: [thinking] Er… no. Not exactly.

SIMMONDS: That’s a pity. M’daughter’s husband’s looking for someone to knock up a few cupboards for him. They need ’em too. Five kids in seven years. Bastard’s a mick. She’s not but he’s pretty strict. Ought to be kneed in the balls. So what, if he’s got to face the priest. She’s the one who’s got to have ’em. Can’t stand micks. You a mick?

ROSS: No.

SIMMONDS: My wife’s a mick. It’s not her fault and I respect her point of view. [Pause.] They’re taking over the force, you know. Salmon sandwiches on Friday if you want to get to be a sergeant, Ross. I told m’daughter not to marry the bastard but she couldn’t afford to be choosy. Not bad looking, mind you, and a good arse, but she’s an irritable bitch. Her mother all over again. [Pause.] Pity your old man doesn’t make furniture.

ROSS: Yes.

SIMMONDS: [after a pause] If he doesn’t make houses and he doesn’t make furniture, then what in the hell does he make?

ROSS: Why… er… did you want to know?

SIMMONDS: Is he the one that gave you this thing of yours about money?

ROSS: I haven’t got a thing about money.

SIMMONDS: Then why were you carrying on about the pay?

ROSS: I wasn’t carrying on about the pay. I just said that you’ve got to consider it. SIMMONDS: [looking at ROSS as he takes a roll of notes out of his pocket] See that?

ROSS: Yes.

SIMMONDS: What is it?

ROSS: Money.

SIMMONDS: Where did it come from?

ROSS: I don’t know.

SIMMONDS: I can walk out of this station tonight, grab m’self a cray and half a dozen tubes, get home, sit m’self down in front of the box and watch the wrestling. [He waves the money.] D’you know where it came from?