KENNY: You’d be hard put to find another man as good as me. I’ll tell you that. [As an afterthought] And if you have, you won’t keep him long because good men are in short supply and they’re not all as stupid as me.
FIONA: I haven’t got another man.
KENNY: [indicating KATE] She’s jealous. She’s put you up to this because she’s jealous.
FIONA: Kate didn’t put me up to anything. I made up my own mind.
KENNY: [scornfully] Yeah.
FIONA: I did.
KENNY: Why didn’t you have the guts to come and tell me yourself instead of letting your sister do the dirty work?
KATE: Fiona made up her own mind. She asked me along for moral support.
KENNY: [sardonically] Moral? Moral ain’t the right word for you, you bloody trollop. The nymph of North Balwyn. Bangs like a buggered tappet.
SIMMONDS moves towards him, but stops to watch KATE’s reaction.
KATE: [angrily] You make me sick.
KENNY: Well, who are you to be handing out advice to Fiona? You’d be the greatest twat flasher in Melbourne bar none.
KATE: [viciously] You’re a boorish, loud-mouthed, sickening little swine, and the sooner Fiona gets out of here the better. [To SIMMONDS] I think you can see why my sister has to leave.
KENNY: It’s your bloody sister that tells me.
KATE looks murderously at FIONA.
KATE: [to FIONA] What have you been telling him?
FIONA: Nothing.
KENNY: [to KATE] What about your car salesman? Amongst others.
KATE looks murderously at FIONA. The REMOVALIST and ROSS re-enter. There is a pause. The REMOVALIST directs ROSS to take one of the lounge chairs. He takes the other.
KATE: For God’s sake. All this fuss about an affair. My God. This is the twentieth century, isn’t it? Anyone would think I was a nymphomaniac.
FIONA: [to SIMMONDS] She isn’t.
KATE: [sensing that her sister is gently sending her up] My private life may not be spotless, Sergeant, but I want you to know that I’m very fond of my husband.
SIMMONDS: You don’t have to offer me an explanation, Mrs Mason.
KATE: [looking murderously at FIONA] They laugh at Ralph behind his back, but he’s a very fine man. He’s provided a good life for me and my children and he’s a fine man.
KENNY: If roots were hamburgers, you could feed a bloody army.
SIMMONDS: Watch it, Carter.
KENNY: I’m speaking from experience, Sergeant. [To KATE] Tell the sergeant about our last Christmas barbecue.
KATE: Don’t try and use that against me, you pig. I’ve told Fiona about that. She knows what happened.
KENNY: Come on. You tried to rip my bloody daks off until I told you to wake up to yourself.
KATE: I’ve told Fiona exactly what happened.
KENNY: Did you tell her what you did with me mate, Billy McMaster, later in the evening?
KATE: [floored] I…
She turns to the SIMMONDS.
KENNY: [to SIMMONDS] She just can’t resist a well-packed fly.
SIMMONDS slams KENNY against the door.