FIONA: What rot.

KENNY: Rot’s the word. Apart from anything else, the bloody thing stunk.

Their noisy argument is interrupted by a knock at the door or a doorbell ringing. FIONA is anxious. She thinks it is the removalist. KENNY stomps across to the door and throws it open. KATE comes in. She is surprised to see KENNY there and looks anxiously across at FIONA.

Migod. It’s the ugly sister. To what do we owe this unexpected pleasure?

KATE: [ignoring him] Hello, Fiona. Just dropped by to see how you were.

KENNY: She’s fine. Now piss off.

FIONA: [to KATE] Good to see you. Would you like a cup of tea?

KENNY: Yes, and a bit of steak as well.

KATE: [trying to be pleasant to KENNY. She sees he’s been watching the television] What’s that you’re watching?

KENNY: Television. It’s a new electronic wonder that’s just filtered down to the lower classes. Keeps their brains nice and soggy.

KATE: [still even] I thought you went out on Fridays.

KENNY: I heard you were coming so I stayed home.

KENNY gets up, storms past FIONA into the kitchen, grabs a tin of baked beans and a can opener and a packet of sliced bread. He opens the can and stuffs beans and bread into his mouth, deliberately trying to disgust KATE. He washes the food down with generous draughts of beer from the bottle. He glares at KATE.

Don’t you like my manners?

KATE: [coolly] You’ll get indigestion if you bolt your food like that.

FIONA: [to KATE, giving frantic eye signals] I told him he ought to have a counter tea down at the pub.

KATE: It would certainly be more nutritious than that junk.

KENNY: I’ve had about as much of this as I can stand. I think I will go down the bloody pub.

He gets up and puts on his jacket. There is a rather imperious knock at the door, or a repeated bell ring. KENNY mutters and goes to answer it. A self-assured REMOVALIST in a dust coat enters. The dustcoat is emblazoned with the emblem ‘Aussie Removalists’. The two sisters look at each other in alarm. FIONA retreats toward the kitchen, followed by KATE. They busy themselves making cups of tea.

What do you want?

REMOVALIST: What’d you think?

KENNY: How the bloody hell would I know?

REMOVALIST: Well, read me bloody dustcoat.

KENNY: [reading] Removalist. I don’t want no bloody removalist.

REMOVALIST: [he has heard this story before] Look, boss, I just get me orders. I ring in and get me orders and this is where the girl sent me. I checked the address.

KENNY: Well, check it again.

REMOVALIST: I checked it again.

KENNY: Well, check it again, because I don’t want no bloody removalist.

REMOVALIST: [getting irritated] Look. Don’t take it out on me, boy. I just ring in and get me orders. This is where I been sent and this is where I came. If you’ve changed your mind, then be man enough to admit it and pay me me five dollars cancellation fee.