I kissed him on the lips and told him that I loved him. When he smiled up at me the tears threatened again, but this time I held them back.

A doctor was summoned to check him over and she told him that he was responding well to treatment. But she also explained about the complications and I could tell he didn’t fully understand that it could make his life hellishly difficult for months to come.

I then told him what had happened back at the house and held nothing back. As I spoke a frown puckered his forehead and his sad eyes glistened.

‘I’m glad it was me who got shot and not you,’ he said. ‘Thank Christ the crazy bitch fucked up.’

He was dismayed to learn that she had got away and had shot two police officers in the process. He then implored me to stop working for the task force and to state publicly that I had.

‘If you don’t then she might come after you again,’ he said.

I chose not to respond to that because I hadn’t had time to decide what I was going to do. The truth was I had no idea. For one brief moment I was tempted to tell him about the baby, but I pulled back, knowing it wouldn’t be right to add to his suffering.

It would have to remain a secret. My burden. My own personal hell. At least for now.

Aidan managed to stay awake for about ten minutes. When he was back under I went to the toilet to pee and freshen up. My eyes were dry and sore, as though filled with sand, and I felt depleted.

I washed my face and applied a bit of make-up from my bag in an attempt to conceal the redness around my eyes. But I couldn’t conceal Aidan’s blood, which stained my beige blouse.

The doctor suggested I go home and change, but I didn’t want to leave Aidan, and, besides, the house was still a crime scene and I probably wouldn’t be able to stay there until much later.

I returned to the waiting room and got myself another coffee. Kate Chappell turned up at nine o’clock and I was glad to see her.

She was wearing a dark suit with padded shoulders and her face was taut and sullen. As she embraced me I could feel the tension in her body.

‘I can’t begin to describe how relieved I am that you’re all right,’ she said. ‘But please tell me that Aidan is out of danger.’

‘He is,’ I said, and then filled her in.

‘I came as soon as I could get away,’ she said. ‘It’s sheer chaos out there. And we’re all wondering who’ll be next.’

‘It’s fucking scary,’ I said.