As the last note resolved into silence, Kirkpatrick stepped forward. He had spent the previous few days wrestling with just how to officiate at this service. Funeral services were a regular and important role of the clergy, and he’d performed more than he could remember, but the circumstances of this occasion were without precedent in his experience. He knew the Turner family only fleetingly, and so he would have to rely on others to a great degree. That was not uncommon. Even some long-time parishioners only spoke with him directly in any meaningful way when they had to bury a loved one. He had long since gotten over the feeling of duplicity in not knowing the people he was shepherding into the next world. It was no secret that the ceremony was for the comfort of the living as well as the benefit of the souls of those who had died, not to mention the positive impact on his ever-challenging budget.

But of course today was different, and so the usual bromides he had learned in theology school, which were perfectly suitable for people who had passed on of natural causes, or even young people who were taken suddenly, would not suffice. These deaths fell into a whole other category that he had never had to contemplate before.

Kirkpatrick had been in favor of including the father, but emotions were raw and he had been rebuffed, so he had made arrangements with Danny’s parents and brother for a separate service. It would have taken great courage to broach this topic at the service, and some would doubtless have seen it as inappropriate or at least in bad taste, so he’d accepted that Danny would not even be mentioned. However, the pastor was deeply conflicted and had been praying all morning for guidance.

After reciting the twenty-third psalm, and reflecting a bit on how it was the role of all of those assembled to aid the departed with their prayers, and to support the family members with their actions during this difficult time, he concluded with these words from John 1:1: “The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you.” The words rang hollow as they left his mouth.

Carolyn was stung by the inadequacy of this sentiment as well, because it spoke to the very heart of the question she could not answer. Why hadn’t God protected Rachel and Evan? This stuff about God never giving people more than they could handle was refuted every day by all the misery in the world. If He got the credit for all the wonderful things in the world, why wasn’t He also responsible for all the suffering? She awoke as if from a trance when she heard someone calling her name and realized the pastor was motioning for her to step up to the altar.