"So what happens if he's right? What happens if you wake up and you realize Exy really is exciting and worth your time? Will you lie just so you can keep refusing him, or will you give in and admit he's won?"

Andrew laughed. "I never took you for a dreamer. You are so strange sometimes."

"I saw the way you played against Edgar Allan," Neil said. "For a moment it looked like it meant something to you."
"Oh, Neil."

"That's not an answer."

"That wasn't a question," Andrew said. "It was a misguided accusation."

"Here's a real question: how have you survived this long when you're so violently self-destructive?"

Andrew cocked his head to one side in a question. Neil didn't know if Andrew was playing stupid to rile him or if Andrew really was oblivious. Either way it was frustrating. He wondered why no one else had caught on, or if people noticed and just didn't care enough to say it. Now that Neil saw it, though, he couldn't look past it. Anytime the Foxes mentioned Andrew's upcoming sobriety or Andrew's name popped up in write-ups on the team's performance at games, the focus was on what a danger he was. People talked about his trial and how it saved them from Andrew. No one said what they were doing to save Andrew from himself.

"You told me Cass would never hurt you and would have given you a good education, but you sabotaged your adoption. Officer Higgins came all the way here from the west coast to fix something from your past but you won't help him. You left juvie and killed Aaron's mother to protect him, but instead of fixing your relationship with him you keep him on a leash. You don't want Nicky's parents to hurt him, but you won't let him into your family either. Kevin promised to invest in you but you won't even try. So what is it? Are you afraid of your own happiness or do you honestly like being miserable all the time?"

"Neil, look," Andrew said, and pointed up at his own face. "Do I look miserable?"

Neil wanted to tear that smile off Andrew's face, but Andrew's obnoxious response wasn't entirely his fault. Neil was dealing with the smokescreen of Andrew's medication. Neither of them could change that, but knowing why Andrew was being difficult didn't make him less frustrating to deal with. All Neil could do was keep his temper in check. If Andrew got a rise from him the conversation was over. That was what Andrew wanted, so Neil wouldn't give it to him.

"You look drugged within an inch of your life," Neil said, "and when you're not medicated you're drinking and dusting. When they finally take your medicine away, who are you going to hurt, really?"

Andrew laughed. "I'm remembering why I don't like you."

"I'm surprised you forgot."