"You were supposed to say yes," Matt said. "What the hell, Nicky?"

"It's not that easy." Nicky sounded miserable. "Offer's contingent on Aaron and Andrew going, too. Mom made that clear. There's no way Andrew will agree."

"You never know until you try," Matt said.

"I don't think you understand how much Andrew hates my parents," Nicky said.

"So what am I supposed to do?" Neil asked.

"Be moral support and back-up," Nicky said. "If I go to Andrew with this, he'll either laugh me off or pretend he doesn't hear me. But he listens to you, right? I mean, you talked him into a team party. Maybe you can talk him into a family dinner somehow."

"I didn't talk him into anything," Neil pointed out. "I said it was the smart thing to do and he agreed. This is more complicated and I shouldn't have a say in it. I could tell him it's obviously important to you to patch things up with your parents, but you and I both know how he'll probably react to that."

Nicky looked crestfallen, but he rallied with a weak, "I grew up in that house, but Dad hasn't let me set foot in it since I came back out of the closet. I know they think I'm a heathen doomed to burn for eternity, and I know I should give up on them, but I can't. Maybe this call means they're coming around. I have to know. Please, Neil? I want my mom back. I miss her more than you know."

Neil swallowed hard against the burning knot in his throat. This wasn't his family. It wasn't his problem. It wasn't his mother. Neil's mother was ashes and bones buried in a California beach. She was gone forever. Neil would never hear her voice again and would never get another phone call from her. She'd never sit him down and explain why she'd run or apologize for hiding his connection to the Moriyamas. She'd never watch him play with the Foxes in semifinals. She wouldn't be there when he gave his testimony. She wouldn't be there when he died.

Neil's grief was a knife spinning circles in his stomach, tearing him to shreds from the inside out until he could barely breathe. He took a slow breath and counted his heartbeats on the exhale. Nicky waited, too desperate to press his luck further.

"Wait here," Neil finally said.

Nicky's expression was a whirlwind of surprise and hope. Neil couldn't stand the sight of it and he didn't want Nicky's premature gratitude. He slipped past Nicky into the hallway and went two doors down to the cousins' room. Nicky hadn't locked the suite door behind him, so Neil let himself in with a perfunctory knock.