There was a gentle warning in her words, and Neil bristled despite himself. His teammates' relationships were interesting to observe from a distance but otherwise inconsequential. Neil didn't care about his teammates' sexualities because it had nothing to do with his survival. Andrew's sexuality was surprising, but it certainly wasn't ammunition to use against him.

It took a little work to keep the edge out of his voice. "If he doesn't care whether or not I know, he could have told me himself at Halloween when I asked him about you. He didn't have to send me all the way here."

"Maybe he thought it past time you and I got to know each other a little better." Renee studied Neil. "I am not the girl I once was, but the shade of my old life will always exist inside of me. That is what helps me connect with Andrew. I am hoping it will help me connect with you.

"I do not know your story," she continued before Neil could react. "If you've trusted Andrew with anything, he hasn't shared the details with me and he never will. But if you are as like us as we first predicted you to be, perhaps one day you can also come to see me as a friend. We're all here because we have problems, Neil. That doesn't mean all our problems are the same. Dan and Matt try to understand the things I've seen and done, but they will never fully succeed. Andrew understands me, and I him. It's comforting knowing someone else has been where we once were. If either Andrew or I can help you, please know we are here."

Neil didn't answer that; he couldn't. It was too much to think about and too much to consider. He wanted to ask her about the trial and what it was like giving testimony. He needed to know how the courts protected her and if it was worth it. If he went to the FBI in spring with proof to take his father down he'd at least like an idea of what he was getting into. That would open up far too many questions than he wanted to deal with today, though. He wasn't willing to trust her with even the half-truths he'd given Andrew.

Renee didn't look surprised or disappointed by his long silence. She gave him a minute to make up his mind, then nodded and changed the subject with an ease that left him reeling.

"Maybe now that I've sated your curiosity you can help me. I need a boy's opinion on gifts for Aaron and Andrew. For their birthday," she said at the blank look on Neil's face. "They didn't celebrate it last year, and Nicky says they haven't celebrated it since they moved in together, but hopefully this one is different. They turn twenty on Saturday. That's something worth commemorating, isn't it?"

"I guess so," Neil said.