Kuki understood that the things that made up the bulk of her life – the dolls, the spinning tops, the fairy tales – were supposed to make her happy, and so she pretended at happiness, even as she constantly surprised herself by wanting something else. When her parents were not busy entertaining or being entertained, and focused their attention on her, Kuki caught a glimpse of what that something was. It was not being at the centre of things; but rather, the time spent happy together that she yearned for most.

She must have made a wish, because in her ninth year, her parents brought a baby boy home from the hospital. Everleigh Sedgwick. A little brother … just for her. As Kuki held him in her arms, she knew that this was what she had been waiting for all her life – the joy of togetherness. She spent her days peeping into his cot playing peek-a-boo, singing lullabies, rattling his favourite rattle, reading fairy tales, and giggling at his gummy toothless smile.

But then one day, some months after his arrival, Kuki went to Everleigh’s cot and found him blue in the face. She tried to use his favourite rattle – white with a blue tortoise on it – to wake him, but he did not wake up. Her parents came and carried him out of the house, and returned a few hours later without him. They soon after removed all traces of him from the house, loaded them into the car, and drove them away. All save for the white rattle with a blue tortoise on it, which Kuki had put in her pocket and temporarily forgotten about. Her parents returned a few hours later without the traces of her baby brother, and never spoke of him again.

Kuki thought of him always – Everleigh, the one who would have been her constant companion; the one who would never have let her feel alone. After Everleigh’s daily non-return from wherever her parents had taken him, Kuki determined to be a pleasant, agreeable and cheerful child, so that his absence would not be too keenly felt. In short, she carried on being the kind of child she had always been, except that now in the place of loneliness was a waiting … a waiting for a constant companion. She probably would have begun to think that she had imagined Everleigh were it not for the fact that she had in her possession the white rattle with a blue tortoise on it – his most favourite thing. And so she held on to Everleigh as one would a secret joy.