The sauna was indeed a piece of work, quality wherever you looked. Smooth dowels held towels and clothing. The pine bench was comfortable, almost soft. A sign had been nailed to the wall near the heating unit. It pictured a cartoonish-looking man with a mega-boner about to mount a woman who was bent over and putting a log into a fireplace. Below the picture was the sentence, HOW A YOOPER PUTS A LOG INTO THE FIRE.

Sanders watched him reading the sign. “That’s how we do it up north, eh?”

Matt let out a fake laugh and shifted to sincere thoughts. “You’ve got a hell of a sauna, Bob. How long did it take you?”

Sanders reached into his boxers and scratched his balls. “Bout two months comin’ up every weekend. And thanks, she’s grand, eh?” Then Sanders sat down between Melinda and Matt, his knees cracking.

Melinda shivered and seemed to make herself smaller, like a bird. “It’s cold in here,” she said, adjusting her towel and gazing down at her pink toenails.

How Sanders landed Melinda, Matt had no idea. Maybe that Yooper magic he’d heard so much about.

“She’s as fast as she can go,” Sanders replied to Melinda. “Have some patience, eh?”

Silence came between them, the kind of quiet only wild lands can produce. Sanders gently placed his hand on Matt’s thigh and looked into his eyes. “Hey, about that putting a log in the fire, that isn’t no joke,” he said, upper lip quivering.

Matt stood and brushed Sanders’ hand away. “Gotta run. The trout wait for no one.”

“Aw, you going already?” Melinda said, kicking her diminutive feet up. “Come on, we’re just about to have some fun.”

“Thanks guys!” Matt opened the door and hurried out. He trotted along the slate path, Sanders’ rising voice behind him.

“Come back anytime you want, eh? There’ll always be a cold beer with your name on it.”

“What did you do to scare him off?” Melinda asked, her voice muffled by cedar and the hissing heater.

Matt took his fly rod from the wall and approached the Silver. He could still hear Sanders and Melinda chattering back there in their little wooden box with the carved moon and stars. A Yooper spaceship.

He found a riffle and forged to the other side, the multihued stones shimmering near his boots, a grouse thumping its wings from some unseen glade. The more he hiked, the more the Northwoods overtook Melinda and Sanders until there was only the wind in the trees.

Ernie

ERNIE

On the way back from the Silver, a peculiar flashing in the woods caught Matt’s attention. He cut the engine, leaned over, and rolled down the passenger window. A series of growls and gasps emitted from the shadows. Tufts of fur flew into the air, mixing with pine needles and leaves. Between each growl, the rattling of metal.