Jim: Whoa, way up there, eh Erickson? I didn’t know they had reception out there yet. What’s on your mind tonight?

Erickson: I was wondering if you knew about the moose problem.

Jim: Yes, yes I’m aware. From what I can remember they are dropping like flies. The paper is printing up a storm. The hunters are getting riled up and some of the animal activists want to stop the hunt.

Erickson: Ayup. There used to be a bunch of moose around here. We saw them every morning at Harry’s Pond. Now they don’t come around much. You spend time on these roads. Seen any?

Jim: No, not for quite some time. I like not seeing them. Who wants a moose through the windshield? I know I don’t. (pause) Our good producer just informed me that biologist Eggerts is going to be interviewed on 660 AM Tuesday afternoon. Are you tuning in?

Erickson: You bet. But only because I want to see if Eggerts is gonna keep lying. (heavy breathing).

Jim: (snickering) What’s he lying about Erickson? Let us in on your secret.

Erickson: The moose aren’t dying from the warming. They’re dying from another animal.

Jim: (snickering) How do you know this? Do you have proof?

Erickson: My dad and I were up in the Hurons near Mill Bridge bucketing berries. We found this real nice patch of blueberries, enough to fill all our buckets. Dad went up the hill, just to where the edge of the berry patch met the big hemlocks. Then he looked up and screamed. I’ve never seen him do that.

Jim: (laughter) So what was it, Erickson? Bigfoot or a black helicopter?

Erickson: (long pause and heavy breathing) A moose carcass. It was strung out over a branch fifty feet up the tree. Now you tell me Jim, you ever see an eagle do that?

Jim: No, of course not. But I’m not sure where this is going, Erickson. If you are just trying to make things up to scare—

Erickson: It’s not made up. It’s the God’s honest truth, swear on my ma.

Jim: What about a cougar? They’re known to drag prey into trees.

Erickson: There hasn’t been cougar around here since one hundred years.

Jim: I hate to tell you this Erickson but a cougar makes more sense than anything else. There’s no other explanation.

Erickson: A cougar can’t pull a moose into a tree. The only animal can do that is a grizzly bear, and they only have those out west. No black bear could pull a full grown moose fifty feet up a tree. This was a big bull, Jim. And since there are no cougars, where does that leave us?