“What?” Eve said too loudly, and Winston put a finger to his mouth to quiet her. His shushing infuriated her. The tears stopped. She should leave. She needed to go. But he had more to say.

“It’s in my backpack. Always,” he said.

Eve vaguely remembered dropping some of her notebook pages on the way to the choir room that day. He’d read them?

“The poem … I mean, you were clearly really sad. I chased after you. Did you hear me calling you? Before you ran into the choir room? I spent weeks trying to figure out how to tell you who wrote it and say sorry. How to make it all go away.”

Winston picked up his backpack and pulled out the poem, handing it to her. She saw her own handwriting. The first line began: I am large. I contain …

“I knew that I’d hurt you by not stopping him. So much. And I hurt so many people. And I really did want to take down Brody. Because he is a bad guy! I didn’t lie—he did brag that he wrote the list! Who would do that? And he ruined Caleb! Look, I know I lied. I wanted to tell the truth … And then your friends got this idea that I know something about IP addresses? I’m into mechanical engineering, not computer science, so … I guess theater kids think all science is the same? I just went along with it, I don’t know, I wanted to be there to help you, all of you, in some way…”

She could see that he knew he was losing her.

“And every time I wanted to tell you, every time I even brought it up to Caleb, Caleb told me I’d get expelled. And he saw that I was getting to know you. He told me my mom would never forgive me, and that you wouldn’t, either!”

She could feel him trying to catch her eye, but she refused to look at him. The curtains wheeled in from the wings, marking the end of the show.

“And you’re … wonderful. You’re smart and talented and such a good friend and you think all these thoughts that no one else could think and … and I just—”

“Caleb was right,” Eve interrupted him. “I won’t ever forgive you.”

She ran out of the booth. She had to get to Nessa.

47

NESSA

Nessa stood there, onstage for the curtain call, with her phone in her palm.

She saw Brody look out into the audience, searching the faces.

Was he looking for his dad? His fancy dad, who everyone knew was this big-time guy with lots of money and an actual model for a girlfriend (it was true—they’d seen her in a Kohl’s catalog once), but who couldn’t make the time to come see his kid be really good as the lead in a show? Even worse, what if he did have the time and didn’t think it was a big deal?