“He performed a citizen’s arrest and told us not to move.”

“Get out.”

I shut off the ignition and Ruben and I got out and trailed after him as he walked up to the glass patio doors and tapped. The old man came out right away. “Mr. DeGroot, how are you today?” Rick said, in his best bootlicking tone of voice.

“How do you think I am? I paid over one hundred dollars for an oleander, and these characters keep trying to tell me I want a yucca.”

“That true?” Rick asked me.

“The ticket says yucca.” I shrugged. The funny thing was, the yucca was perfect there. I hadn’t argued or even offered an opinion, no matter what the old man said. But the yucca made for a good focal point, where an oleander wouldn’t have the same presence. The drainage was suitable for yucca. And it went great with his outfit.

Rick was still on his “The customer is always right” kick. “Sir, I’m sorry my employees’ response was unsatisfactory. I’m going to make sure you get that oleander. What color did you specify?” Rick took out his phone and started punching things in.

“White,” the old man said. “So don’t show up here with pink or red. I don’t intend to waste any more time on this.”

“Sir, we won’t. We’ll have that yucca out of here in two shakes. First, you two need to apologize to Mr. DeGroot.”

“For what?”

“For arguing with him.”

“You’re kidding, right?” I genuinely didn’t see that one coming. Ruben kept his head down, admiring some unusual rock formations around the patio. I didn’t expect him to back me up, but he might have shaken his head or done something besides stand there like a beaten dog. “I didn’t argue with him. You don’t pay me enough to argue with people.” All the while I’m distracted by the little old man’s blue legs, dancing around, egging Rick on from the sidelines.

“Mr. DeGroot says you did.” If it was a joke, Rick didn’t look like he was in on it. “He has a complaint.”

“Only one?”

“What’s that, Sawyer?”

“How about we talk about who wrote up the wrong job ticket.”

“Right now, we’re talking about your attitude.”