We were just starting to fill in the dirt around the roots when an undersized old man wearing golf clothes, at least I hope they were golf clothes, came out of the house with his hands on his little hips and asked us what the hell we thought we were doing.

“We’re from Greenworks,” I said, speaking up since whenever there’s any kind of a scene, Ruben starts shaking his head and saying no hablo. This from a guy who didn’t learn any Spanish until the ninth grade. “This is the plant you ordered.”

“Oh, is it now.” He was wearing light blue shorts with long, light blue kneesocks to match, and a pink-and-blue plaid knit shirt. You felt embarrassed to look at him, like you’d interrupted him playing some private dress-up game. “Who said you could put that thing in my yard?”

Ruben and I looked at each other. Usually we got yelled at for not doing something. I tried again. “My boss said—”

“I’m talking to you. I ordered an oleander. That look like an oleander to you?” He was so little and scrawny and furious. It was like being scolded by a garden gnome. “Dig that back up and get me my oleander.”

“Sir, I need to call my boss first.” I got my phone out to signal I was done with him, but that didn’t stop Fancy Pants, who was thrilled to catch somebody in a mistake and kept going on about what kind of idiot would think a cactus belonged in this yard, and didn’t we know anything about plants, and I didn’t bother telling him that yucca wasn’t a cactus, technically, but a flowering succulent. I left a message on Rick’s voice mail and then sent him a text in addition, something along the line of being held hostage by insane senior citizen ha ha seriously this guy in novato is pissed and wants to talk to you.

Rick texted back: can’t you handle it?

no, I informed him, then I walked away from the screeching and went to sit in the truck. After a minute Ruben joined me.

“He went back in the house. He said he’s going to call the police.”

“Good idea.”

“Shouldn’t we dig it back up?”

“This is a Rick problem. For all we know, the guy signed a work order that said yucca, and now he’s trying to get out of paying.” I’d started the truck and was running the air conditioning.

I waited for Rick to call or text me back and when he didn’t, I figured he was on his way here. Fifteen minutes later he pulled up in his Bossmobile, got out, and walked over to us. Through the glass he said, “Open the goddamn window,” and when I did, “What the hell’s going on here?”

“A dissatisfied customer.”

“Why are you sitting in there?”