“Arete,” I said, putting my chin up. I have been embarrassed and teased about my name all my life, but never have I been prouder to declare it than that day. It was like declaring my mother’s true allegiance, proclaiming the name she gave me. It encapsulated the choices she had made in her life, her allegiance to philosophy, to Father, to the City, to her own excellence, and mine, and the excellence of the world.

Kebes looked at Father, and back at me. “Arete,” he said, as if he hated the word. It seemed to me that he should have known then and by that alone that he had lost.

19. Apollo

19

APOLLO

Mortals can be wonderful and maddening and fascinating, and sometimes all three at the same time.

Every single member of the company of the Excellence, except my children, came to try to persuade me not to kill Kebes after I won the competition, even dear Ficino and lark-voiced Erinna. None of them doubted that I’d win. I’d been winning musical competitions since the first years of the Republic, after all. They took it utterly for granted. They just didn’t want me to kill Kebes afterward. They had different reasons.

Klymene didn’t want me to kill Kebes because he had been her friend, and Simmea’s friend. She also didn’t believe me about the rape. “Even before this you always misjudged him. Exactly what did Simmea write? She never said anything to me about it, and I saw her that night. Can I see it? Do you have it here?”

Maecenas didn’t want me to kill Kebes because he wanted to trade with Lucia and Marissa, and he was afraid it would mess up diplomatic relations. “It might just be that we’ve been conflating Kebes and the Goodness Group all this time, but he really is important to these people, and if you take him out then it’ll make everything harder. I appreciate that you want to hurt him for what he did to Simmea. But you can do what you like—it’s your choice, eh? You could just beat him up. Break his nose! That would be satisfying. Break a couple of bones if you have to. Or how about if you rape him, if you could bring yourself to? Humiliate him. But leave him alive, eh?”

Ficino didn’t want me to kill Kebes because he thought it would be bad for my soul. “You don’t want to have that stain on your soul when you go on to your next life. Killing somebody in battle is one thing, but deliberately setting out to kill them for revenge is different. I’m not thinking about Kebes here, Pytheas, I’m thinking about you. Killing him doesn’t avenge what he did to Simmea. It won’t bring her back, or change what he did. Vengeance isn’t justice. You understand that.”