The next day a check was cut, no questions were asked, and all I felt was shame.

It made me double down on trying to be perfect. I played my role at school and at home… I resented the man who didn’t even for once ask what happened or why but decided to speak with his checkbook instead of his son.

He didn’t look at me the same after that.

And the one time we did talk about it.

I hang my head in my hands, sit on the couch, and try not to look too distressed as I think about the words.

“You gay?” He took a sip of whiskey.

“If I was?” I said right back. “What then?”

He looked away. “My son isn’t gay. No one in this family can be anything but—“

“—Perfect.” I nod. “Yup, I got it, but what’s so bad about being gay? What if I was? Who the fuck cares?”

“Watch your language!” He snapped. “No son of mine—“

“—Wow.” I nodded. “No son of yours is allowed to be anything but what you want them to be, not what you need them to be.”

I stood and tried to walk out.

Dad grabbed me by the arm and pulled me in close. “But you aren’t right?”

I was so disgusted I almost puked. “Why would it matter. I would still be your son.”

“No,” he whispered. “You wouldn’t.”

“Message received,” I said. “Message. Fucking. Received.”

“What did I say about language?” Dad stood head to head with me, chest to chest, and I just wanted to push because I was so offended, so pissed that he would say those sorts of things.

What century was he even living in?

“Yeah,” I finally said. “I’m gay. Deal with it.”

I wasn’t. But I was too pissed to think.

He slapped me across the face so hard I fell to the ground, my hands collided with the chair, one of my fingers broke on impact, and still, he stood over me.

Mom came in minutes later only to hear Dad announce to her that I was gay and I was dead to him.

“But he has a girlfriend,” Mom said.

Dad looked down at me. “That true?”

“Whatever.” I pretended that it didn’t matter when I got up and went to my room.

I pretended that I wasn’t crying when I texted Tessa and asked her to delete the video, and I pretended that it was all okay that my dad was just overreacting when I texted Quinn.

He came over and was promptly turned away by my dad because he wrongly assumed that Quinn was my boyfriend.

That was the day it all ended.

When I admitted to something that shouldn’t be a crime and wasn’t even me—and when Quinn went to the dark side and started dating Tessa the next day.

I clear my throat as the movie turns on. MB is sitting between Quinn and me. Quinn’s on his third drink, I’m on my fourth, and MB just sits there like it’s not weird she’s between us.