“May I sit?” I ask, politely this time around. She doesn’t approve but nor does she decline, so I take a seat, returning my gaze to the room beyond. “Look,” I say to her, “I know we were never the best of friends. I don’t think today changes the past or the level of interaction we have going forward. But today, know that I am here.”

Eleanor looks over at me with tears running down her cheeks, more welling up. “Okay,” is all she says.

The proceedings continue as normal and then the time comes, the final piece of the day, the syringe. Eleanor sees it, and I can see her whole body go rigid. Nothing she can do now can stop this. All the mothering or money in the world can’t save her son today, and that fact is paralyzing her.

Finally, the doctor says something to Adam, and Adam shakes his head. The doctor inserts the needle into the IV line, and Eleanor simultaneously inserts her hand into mine. As the lever depresses into the vial, she begins to squeeze my hand slowly. At first, it is quiet, like that small lapse of time after a lightning strike, waiting for the thunder to follow, and then it happens. Adam begins to convulse and scream on the table.

Eleanor wails “No! My baby boy!” and begins convulsing herself.

I squeeze her hand back and take her head into my chest, “Shh, it’s over now. It’s all over,” I whisper into her ear as I run my fingers through her hair, a large smile plastered across my face.

When he finally goes limp, I lift Eleanor’s head and stand. “Goodbye, Eleanor,” I say as I turn to leave.

“Sarah. Wait,” she quickly blurts out. I turn to look at her without saying anything. “I’m sorry… for everything.” The words are almost a whisper as she is still crying heavily.

I stare back at her inquisitively, like a cat deciding what to do with a small rodent it just caught. “I’m not,” I say and turn to make my exit.

In her state of hysteria the words don’t even register and she returns to her sobbing.

His last thoughts were of me. I could tell by the stupid look on his face. I stand and exit, following Kelly’s parents. They were weeping throughout the whole ordeal, pouring out the catharsis they came here to find. They probably think they witnessed some form of closure; the man who murdered their daughter being put to death.