I snap back from my train of thought. Where is this coming from? She’s not to blame for any of this. These were my actions. I caused all of this. I didn’t commit murder but I did cheat. I did throw away what we had, carelessly like a piece of litter into a trash can I was passing. I can’t leave this earth with her blaming herself for everything that happened. She is the only one who defended me through all of this. The only one who truly believed me. The last person on earth who loves me, aside from my mom. “Sarah… none of this was your fault. You were a wonderful wife. You worked hard and were the only person who believed me and defended me. You loved me during my darkest times. You did everything you could for me and my career. I don’t blame you for anything. You have nothing to apologize for.” I try to hold back tears. She squeezes my hand a ninth time. I squeeze back.

“You think I was good to you?” There’s a peculiar lightness to her voice as if she is teasing me in a game on the playground.

“Of course you were, Sarah. Don’t ever think otherwise. Someday you’re going to make another man so hap—” At this point I can’t hold back. The tears pour down my face and a small pool forms on the rough steel table. I shake my head and take a second to compose myself. “It hurts to say that. Because I wish I were that man. I wish I could still be that man. But I can’t, my time is up. And even if it wasn’t, I don’t deserve you, I never truly did. I had you for a time, and you were mine to lose, and I fucked everything up.”

“You did,” she says pointedly.

“I know,” I sob. “Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about you these past eleven years.”

The hard slam of steel hits the concrete wall as the guard re-enters. “Time’s up.” He smacks his gum loudly and is purposefully not looking at either of us to convey his disinterest.

She squeezes my hand for the tenth time. I squeeze back. She stands up, “Goodbye, Adam. For what it’s worth…” She walks around the table to my side. Sarah leans over and plants a soft kiss on the side of my cheek. She then leans in, whispering into my ear, “I know for a fact it wasn’t you.”

I turn and look at her. She is smiling at me with no teeth. A sinister up-turn plastered across her face. There is a fire burning in her eyes that I have never before seen, not in a human at least.