Tonight, so many years later, the feelings of the past seemed so close – like Lottie could reach out and touch her eighteen-year-old self. Yet right now the earth was dry though that night it hadn’t been. The smell was different, too. She couldn’t pinpoint it at the moment, but ten years ago the weather had been more variable and earlier that evening there had been a light shower, raining enough to dampen the topsoil. She hadn’t known then that her evening would become much worse. She’d been an innocent up until then. Yes, she’d been wrong to treat Alex that way she had, but she could have apologised to him. What happened next . . . could not be fixed.

Looking back, it had the feel of a car crash: moving forward despite her foot pressed hard to the brake. Remembering, her skin went cold as she walked through the gate and turned to the watchtower. She paused on the path, unable to move forward or backward. It all felt too close. Closing her eyes, Lottie let herself recall what had happened.

Standing out at the furthest place on the point she dared, she had scanned the horizon looking for a falling star so she could make another wish. This time she longed to make a stronger one than the last so she couldn’t mess it up. But the stars were dimmed because the moon was just rising and it was nearly full. It left a clear pathway on the sea. It looked like she could climb down the cliff and walk across the bay on the white road.

A twig snapped. She froze.

‘There you are.’ John’s words slurred a bit. He had followed her. ‘This place is perfect.’

She looked around. ‘It’s not bad.’ He stepped closer and she moved back.

‘I knew when I saw you leave that you wanted me to follow.’

She shook her head. That was the last thing she wanted. She wanted Alex right now. She needed to say sorry because she’d been a right idiot. John walked straight up to her and leaned in for a kiss. She dodged it.

‘Sorry, John. I came out for fresh air and to be alone.’ She put heavy emphasis on the last word.

‘This will clear your head.’ He kissed her, and she pushed him away.

‘No.’ She turned around and was about to leave but stopped. ‘Sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.’ This was her fault. Everything was. She had to find Alex.

‘But you fancy me.’ He held out his hands.

‘No. You’re a friend.’

His head dropped down.

‘Are you coming back to the house?’ she asked.

He shook his head.

‘Sure?’

‘Yeah.’ He turned from her to stare out to the bay.

‘Sorry,’ she said as she walked away, pulling her phone out of her pocket. Had Alex gone home or gone out? She had begun to type a text when she heard John swear. She stopped and headed back. He was probably lost, and as much as she wanted to find Alex, she couldn’t leave John on the point.