I don’t voice my other concern that has absolutely nothing to do with getting drafted by two pro sports. How am I going to do that and have Sydney by my side? Or any girl for that matter.

It isn’t a life people dream about. The money, the fame, sure, but not the reality of it. Gone more often than not, ready to pick up your life and move any time you’re traded... it’s a lonely life for a significant other. Or so Tara tells me. She’s super into those reality TV shows about NBA players’ wives. Keeping someone else happy was never my concern. Selfish or not, I’ve worked hard to make my dreams a reality. But now… I wonder if Sydney could see herself living like that?

But it’s the last summer of fun and I’m no more anxious to answer that question than I am to decide my own future.

Back at the house, Sydney heads for her room instead of mine. “I’m going to shower and change.”

“All right. I’ll leave the door open if you want to come back and cuddle.”

Stepping back to me, she presses her mouth to mine kissing me and then pulling back but letting her lips linger close. “Thank you for tonight. I had a great time.”

“Me too, babe. Always.”

She closes the door behind her as she goes. In my room, I flop onto the bed and lay on my back. I kick off my shoes and continue to stare up at the ceiling in the dark.

Restless. Anxious. Frustrated.

I can handle the emotions, but now I wonder if Jonah’s onto something. Feeding my regret of the past by holding back in the present, what good does that do? I fucked-up years ago and there’s nothing I can do to change that, but I can show her now.

Fuck. I move to a stand so quick I get a little lightheaded. My legs eat up the space between our rooms. I knock hoping she’ll hear me over the shower. “Syd?”

“One minute.”

I can hear her rustling around in the bedroom so she’s definitely not in the shower yet. I don’t really have a plan. Fuck her senseless. It’s a good start anyway.

When she opens the door, it’s only a crack and I can tell immediately something’s going on. The uneasiness is written all over her pretty face. “What’s up?”

“Is everything okay?” I try to see past her.

“Yeah, um…” She rolls her bottom lip behind her teeth.

“Babe?”