I put my head on his shoulder. “I was thinking about what you said earlier. How you can’t picture something more with a fling or hookup you meet during the summer. The thing is, I think some people—mostly girls it seems—hope beyond reason that a summer fling will turn into more. I’ve rarely hooked up with anyone that I couldn’t see a future with. I just think it’s interesting. The girls you hooked up with were probably hoping you were going to fall for them and want more.”

“I am always honest about my intentions. I never promise a girl I’m going to call and then don’t.”

“I know, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t hope you’d change your mind.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen a future with any of the girls I’ve dated in the past two years. How sad is that?”

“Really? Why did you date them then?” I’d always wondered why Tanner had chosen the girls he did. From Amelia to the one before… I never found any real common thread to figure out what it was that made a guy like him settle down.

“I liked them, and I wanted to spend more time together. And with Amelia there were times when I could picture us together after college, but never like…” He pulls back and shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Tell me.”

He hesitates before saying, “The only person I’ve ever really been able to picture in my life forever is you.”

My heart hammers in my chest and blood pounds in my ears.

“When I see my life in five years or fifty—I see it with you.”

“With me as your best friend or…?”

The car pulls up at Tanner’s and we climb out. I walk numbly behind him. Neither of us speaks until we’re inside.

“Water?” he asks, grabbing two from the fridge.

I take one, kick off my shoes, and we go sit outside on the deck.

It’s late. The moon is high in the sky and the lake is quiet. Tanner sits and then pulls me onto his lap. We’ve sat like this a million times. We’ve always been comfortable in our affection. Still, this feels different.

I’m deciding whether or not I should push for an answer to my question from the car when he starts talking again.

“I’ve gone over it a million different times. Wondering what would happen if I kissed you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woke up with the most vivid sex dreams recreating that first night together.”

“And?” My voice wavers. I’m so nervous. I’m never nervous around Tanner.

“All I know is that I want everything to be exactly the same.”