But she also knew something else—that when things got tough, he immediately returned to bad habits. Ever since they decided to keep the baby, she’d done her best to ignore them, to let herself think only about the bright possibility of their family’s future. She’d given herself the luxury of living in denial. She couldn’t afford to do this any more.

Her laptop balanced on the edge of the nightstand. She reached for it, flipped it open. The password for their bank took its time to resurface from her cloudy mind—she had neglected to check the account since leaving her job, couldn’t deal with being reminded that their income was slashed in half. She typed and hit enter. Rows and columns of the ledger appeared, debits and credits. She scrolled backward in time. The water company. The gas company. The trash company. The grocery store. At least he’d been paying the bills.

She logged out and pulled up the website for their joint credit card. She clicked on the most recent monthly statement.

The very first purchase caught her eye. The $8,000 Max needed for a new bike for an upcoming race had, in reality, cost $15,000. He exaggerated by $7,000. There were several withdrawals of large amounts of cash, including $2,500 he’d taken out just two hours ago. She inhaled deeply. She wanted to close the laptop, plug it back into the wall, walk away. But she couldn’t continue to deny the numbers, to stick her head in the sand about their financial picture. She took a sip of water, swirled it in her mouth, swallowed.

The debits on the statement knocked the breath out of her. Thousands on clothes, shoes, a new computer. In a single month.

She shut the laptop, tossed it to the other side of the bed.

Every fear now materialized before her. Her husband had continued his binge spending, despite the fact that she no longer brought in an income, that they could no longer afford this lifestyle. With their massive student loans and mortgage, they could never really afford this lifestyle. For years, she begged him to go into therapy. He had refused. “You just need to learn how to relax,” he’d said. When she became pregnant, he promised to curb his spending for their growing family.

She believed him, despite his history.