His expression didn’t change for the first few seconds. But when the change began, it was profound. Eyes darkened in rage. The softness of his calm features immediately tightened into a wall of hardness. Now we were back in time, and he stared me down with the same hatred he had on the steps of his home. “I enjoyed your lies. But I never believed them.” His hand dropped from my hair, and he left the bed.

The attempt immediately backfired in my face. “I didn’t lie to you—”

“You don’t love me.” He turned back to me, his arms by his sides, his hands clenched in fists. “She’s the only reason you came back to me. I’m not a fucking idiot. And as I said before, I will never let her go.” His voice was controlled and deep, and somehow that was more sinister than if he screamed. “And I will never let you go either. I love your lies and your performances. I let you go once, but now, I owe you nothing.” He grabbed his bottoms and pulled them on.

I was out of the bed and on my feet, naked and covered in a gleam of sweat. “I didn’t lie about that, Fender.”

He turned away, the conversation over. “The only reason you’re alive is because my love is stronger than my hate. Count your goddamn blessings.”

Both of my hands grabbed on to his arm. “I do love you…I do.” The emotion came out of nowhere, burning the corners of my eyes, making me realize this was no longer pretend. It had never been pretend. “Why can’t I have both? Why can’t I love you but also want her to be free?”

He yanked his arm away and turned back to me.

“If you really love me, you will do it.”

“No. I warned you that I wouldn’t change my mind about this. Not now. Not ever. Not for you. I agreed once, and she humiliated me. And then you—” His jaw tightened, and his eyes filled with darkness. “You crossed me just as much as she did. And I still kept my fucking promise to you.” He slammed his palm into his chest with a strike so hard it made a loud thud, but he didn’t flinch at the hit. “The only reason she’s alive is because of what you asked of me. How dare you ask for more?”

Tears streamed down my cheeks. “I don’t understand you…”

His eyes narrowed.

“This isn’t you.” Tears continued to fall, to streak across my quivering lips.

He pivoted closer toward me, looking down into my face with the same hardness.

“The man I know, the man I’ve fallen in love with, is kind, chivalrous, good… Why do these terrible things if it’s not who you are?”

He breathed hard as he stared me down.