I pictured a long life with her, with four kids, her beauty still prevalent even as she aged. Men in my circle always took mistresses when their wives became too old, but I never would. She was more than enough for me. But I imagined through the years, this conversation would rise again…and again. “It’s just business.”

“But it’s not just business. It’s lives, Fender.” His voice rose with his anger, trying to knock some sense into me. “I know you’re better than this.”

Every time he said that, it pissed me off. He claimed to see the good through the bad, but there was no shred of goodness anywhere inside me. My humanity died the moment I watched my father try to gun down his two remaining sons. “Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not.” I suddenly sat forward with my arms resting on the insides of my thighs. I looked him dead in the eye and hoped he would finally understand. “Our father murdered our family without any hesitation. He was a coward and took their lives in their sleep. He didn’t kill himself instead of claiming the lives of innocent people. And you know what? I’m just like him. The evil that ran in his veins runs in mine.” I spoke the truth, and it somehow set me free but also pulled me deeper under. I wasn’t proud to say it, to be honest with myself and my brother, who still looked up to me to this day.

Magnus looked at me differently, a gentle softness coming into his eyes, a look that he gave Raven, not me. “That’s not true.” He spoke with confidence, like there was no doubt in his mind he was right, when he was actually dead wrong.

“Yes, it is. When you see shit like that, you never recover. I’m not human anymore. I don’t care about anyone or anything. And it’s much easier that way.”

He shook his head. “That’s not true. You asked a woman to marry you because you love her. You would take a knife in the chest for me because I’m your brother. It’s hard to carry the weight of the past on your shoulders, but don’t let it define you. You still have a soul. I know you do.”