Gilbert emerged when he arrived. The old Gilbert would be ready the second the guards notified him that Fender was at the gate, but it was wrong to compare them, despite the now-same name. “Dinner is almost ready. Will you be dining in your room this evening?”

“Yes.” Fender barely looked at him before he took the stairs.

I followed behind him, and we entered our bedroom.

He removed his watch and pulled his shirt over his head, standing shirtless near the bed.

“You don’t like Gilbert.”

He turned to me, undoing his jeans. “I don’t like anybody.”

“I know it’s hard, but you can’t compare him to…”

Fender didn’t talk about the first Gilbert, didn’t talk about anything really, but it was obvious it still haunted him. He’d lost someone he cared about, and it made him shut down in many ways. He ignored what I said and pulled off his shoes then stripped down to his boxers.

I let it be.

After he’d said he would release Raven, we hadn’t talked about it. I assumed he would make good on his word next time he went to the camp—which was probably any day now. I kicked off my shoes and got undressed, choosing to wear one of his t-shirts instead of my fancy clothes. We’d become fully domesticated now, like a couple that sat around in their pajamas when they were home.

He walked up to me, his gaze dark, like he had something to say.

I waited. I knew him better than anyone else, so I recognized all his subtle cues. I understood what he said without saying a word. I didn’t have to see his anger because I could absorb it through my skin. I didn’t even need to hear him say he loved me—because I could feel that too.

“I leave tonight.”

Like I received devastating news, I inhaled a deep breath. “Why do you always tell me at the last minute—”

“Because you hate it every time I leave.” His big hands cupped my face. “I hate it too.”

The last time he left, everything fell apart.

“I’d stay…but I can’t. I have work to do.” His eyes were full of apology. “I’ll bring you with me if that makes you more comfortable.”

I wanted to say yes. I wanted to be with him always. I wanted his massive size beside me every single night.

He watched my eyes, studying my reaction.

But that place was the source of my nightmares. The source of my pain. The very reason we shouldn’t be together. My sister would be removed from the camp, so it was best never to think of it again, to pretend it didn’t exist. I couldn’t pretend if I was there.

His hands slowly dropped from my face. “I understand.”