Raven took a few breaths before she responded. “Magnus doesn’t agree with the way the camp is run and has expressed that many times to Fender, but Fender ignores it. Magnus is the one who risked his neck to save us both. What has Fender done other than buy you pretty things? I’m sorry, but to compare the two men is fucking insulting. How can you feel any affection for the man who’s the boss of that camp? How?”

My eyes started to water in shame. Our time together was rare, and we were spending it at the gallows, the noose around my neck, her hand on the rope. “I just… I can’t explain it.”

Anger flew from her lips like bullets from a gun. “Well, you better try.”

“He’s just…more than that. He takes care of me, he’s good to me, he’s…a man. He’s not like the other boys out there, and I like that. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t change the way I feel. I can’t kill him. I can’t do it, okay? I’m sorry.” I knew that was a terrible explanation and totally missed the mark. Hot tears left my eyes and dripped down my cheeks.

Raven held her silence, but it was obvious that she struggled to process all of that without losing her temper. “If you don’t kill him, I’ll never get out of that camp. The women will never get out of that camp. Magnus will never be able to be free.”

I kept my head down because the weight was so heavy. I witnessed Fender’s relationship with Magnus from the front row, saw the untouchable connection between them, so I just said something to get her off my back, knowing neither man would ever hurt the other. “Why can’t Magnus do it—”

“Because Fender will kill him. And Magnus won’t kill his brother, so…”

I wanted this conversation to end because I was a mess. “You can kill Magnus and run—”

“Don’t say that again.” Raven lost her temper, her eyes like daggers. “You know Magnus is not like him. I don’t even need to say it. Lie to yourself all you want, but it won’t change reality. Magnus is the hero…and Fender is the villain.”

I couldn’t look at her. “I’m willing to sneak around and carry your secrets. I’m willing to do anything and everything to help you and those girls that are stuck there, but I can’t kill him. I’m sorry…” I started to cry—full on.

Her anger was immediately sheathed, and her hand went to my shoulder then into my hair, tucking it behind my ear like Mom used to do. “Melanie, it’s okay… Don’t ruin your makeup.”