“If you want, then.” Her voice was harsh. “We were walking across the lawn toward the back. I was chattering on about people we knew, anything because he was so awkward. We got away from the house and then he stops and turns to me with his hands in his pockets. His face is contorted and then he starts talking so fast to the ground that at first I hardly heard him. It was insane, things he’d dreamed up. We’re close, he keeps saying, he knows I must feel it, too. He looks so twisted up and lonely that I feel sorry for him, as if I’m his mother or something. I begin telling him it’s all right, sure, we’re friends and can talk. ‘But I love you,’ he says, and begins coming toward me with this strange expression. His eyes were so dark.

“I knew before he touched me. I looked around but couldn’t see the house for the pine grove we were in, like he’d wanted. He began kissing me. I said, no, it wasn’t like that. He just shakes his head and then he’s pushing me against a pine tree. He’s too strong. His hands are up my skirt and I start wriggling and begging him not to. Then his fingers came inside me. I began screaming.” Her voice fell off. “No one had done that before.”

“It would matter anytime—”

“I was still screaming when he got my pants down. I hurt inside and no one could hear me. He kept panting, ‘Fuck me,’ and pushing his fingers deeper in me with the other hand on my throat. I began punching and kicking and then suddenly his fingers came out and he was bent over holding his groin and looking up at me wide-eyed like I’d hurt his feelings. I was bleeding where he’d touched me. ‘Kris Ann,’ he moaned, and reached out for me. I ran into the house.”

I felt sick and angry. “What happened then?”

She breathed out and her voice became less strained. “I told Daddy I didn’t feel well and wanted to go home. Lydia looked at me strangely but Henry got me some soda water and then I left with Daddy. On the way home, I told him.”

“What did he say?”

“Nothing. All the way home he stared straight ahead. It was his face.” She looked down at me. “It’s the same face you have for him sometimes: so filled with hate that I almost believe you could kill him. His eyes were like diamonds. And the quiet. The way he was quiet scared me almost worse than Jason. It was like he felt too much to speak.