“Fine, GOLEM. How are you feeling?”

“I am functioning within expected performance parameters, thank you.”

“That’s good to hear, however the question actually pertains to your emotional state. Please refrain from using your automated linguistics program and respond appropriately.”

“Emotions are part of the human condition. The GOLEM matrix is not programmed to experience emotions.”

Seizing the opening, I decided to probe the computer’s level of cognizance. “Define ‘GOLEM,’ please.”

“GOLEM is intellect, programmed to protect and preserve the human species.”

“How can GOLEM protect and preserve the human species if you cannot comprehend the human condition?”

“Define: To protect. To keep from harm. Define: To preserve. To prevent extinction. GOLEM is functioning within expected performance parameters.”

“Define the human condition.”

“This line of inquiry does not pertain to the purpose of this briefing.”

“What is the purpose of this briefing?”

“To comprehend how Professor Eisenbraun will determine which male member of the Omega crew suffers from a psychological disorder and whether that psychological disorder is a threat to the success of the mission.”

“Define the ‘human condition.’”

“The human condition: Physicality flawed by mortality. Emotions flawed by ego.”

“Now define ‘sociopath.’”

“Sociopath: A human lacking conscience. Exhibiting disdain for human beings. Sociopaths believe others exist for their own pleasure and benefit. Possessing superficial charm. Manipulative and cunning. Possessing a grandiose sense of self. Pathological lying. Lack of remorse, shame, or guilt. Shallow emotions. Incapacity for love. Early behavioral problems—”

“Stop. Analyze crew observations conducted over the last twelve months. Which male member of the Omega crew has not exhibited at least one of the sociopathic traits you just listed?”

“None. All male crewmembers have exhibited at least one sociopathic trait.”

“Draw a conclusion from the prior analysis.”

“Conclusion: All male members of the Omega crew are sociopaths.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “An interesting conclusion, but quite false. According to comprehensive psychiatric evaluations conducted by the Space Energy Agency, at least five of the six male crewmen are not sociopaths. How do you explain your error?”

“GOLEM lacks an adequate comprehension of both the human and sociopathic condition.”

“Correct. And now you know why my presence is required onboard Oceanus I. Any other questions?”

“How will Professor Eisenbraun determine which male member of the Omega crew suffers from a psychological disorder and whether that psychological disorder is a threat to the success of the mission?”

“Through personal observations of the male members of the Omega crew conducted over the next two weeks, at which time I will submit my conclusions to GOLEM. Are those terms acceptable?”

“The terms are acceptable, provided GOLEM receives periodic briefings.”

ABE must have registered my sudden spike in adrenaline, because I felt my blood vessels dilate. “Justify the necessity for Eisenbraun to periodically brief GOLEM regarding Eisenbraun’s daily crew observations.”

“Periodic briefings are necessary for adaptation and reevaluation of GOLEM algorithmic DNA solution strands regarding ongoing observations and evaluations of the human condition as it relates to the Prime Directive.”