Undercover attempts to garner information were much more pleasant. Here we were in Kate and George Pig’s very beautiful, very white home, sipping on soy lattes.

Kate had started to unburden her frustrations at George Pig never getting up in the night:

‘He says there’s no way he can decide on matters of national security without a full night’s sleep and that me doing it is helping keep the country safe.’

Naomi on Daddy Pig coming home drunk:

‘He claimed it was part of his cover. He must think I’m stupid.’

Dionne on Peppa not being able to get home at a designated time:

‘She says, “I can’t tell the President of Brazil’s security team we need to cut this meeting short as my nanny has dinner plans.” ’

Kate on George Pig forgetting a wedding anniversary:

‘He missed all my hints about a weekend at Babington House. Ignored the Tiffany’s brochure with the earmarked pages. Claimed that it was because the week before he’d been testing an experimental truth serum and a side effect was memory loss.’

Kate bit her lip. ‘Yes, jewellery would’ve been nice but it’s more about being reminded that you matter, that you haven’t been forgotten about.’

Naomi reached over and patted her hand before reaching for the coffee pot and filling up everyone’s mugs. She fussed over us all: tucking in Dionne’s jumper label, mopping up a splash of milk off the countertop, handing a tissue to Camilla the second she sneezed.

‘I totally get what you’re saying, Kate,’ said Dionne as she curled a finger around one of her plaited pigtails. ‘Sometimes I really feel a hug or a “Hey, wow, Dionne, aren’t you doing great?” would make me feel like I was really valued.’

I thought, considering the amount Peppa was paying her, Dionne should get over the lack of hugs and compliments. She was leaving at the end of the month to go back to Australia. I figured losing her nanny was a point against Peppa being the Snake. Surely the stress of finding replacement childcare would rule out having the time to sideline in betraying your country.