I needed to get them back on mission. I rushed up to the girls. ‘What’s going on? Don’t forget the running race. And the biscuits.’

‘I want that one.’ Gigi pointed at Florence’s doll.

‘Gigi, they are exactly the same. What does it matter?’

‘Because it’s mine.’ She snatched the doll from Florence and stared up at me, her mouth in a firm line, chin jutting out.

Florence burst into tears and tried to grab it back. ‘No, MINE.’

The two of them sobbed and tussled, both holding onto the doll.

Frederick joined us. ‘What’s the problem?’

‘Our daughters are fighting over an identical doll.’

‘We don’t want to attract any undue attention.’

As if they could understand what he was saying the crying from each girl went up another decibel.

Frederick squatted down next to Florence. ‘Now come on, Florence. This is not on.’

The girl ignored him and continued the tussle over the doll.

We needed to take action. I had found the right-on parenting favourite of ‘use your words’ worked as well on a sobbing toddler as it did on a psychopath brandishing a gun. Bribery was the only solution.

‘Gigi, let Florence have the doll and you can have a biscuit.’ I rummaged through my bag and grabbed the Tupperware box. There was a pause in her tears and she dropped the doll as she observed me. Florence quickly grabbed it and held it tight in her arms. I opened the lid.

Bloody hell.

‘What is it?’ asked Frederick

‘They haven’t travelled well.’ I showed him the inside of the box and broken biscuit bits.

‘What does it matter?’

‘You’ll see.’ I sighed. I put on the perkiest voice I could muster. ‘Here you go, Gigi, two yummy biscuits.’ I pulled two halves of a biscuit out.

She looked at them and then at me as her face crumpled.

‘B-B-But IT’S BROKEN,’ she howled.

‘Gigi, we’ve been over this a hundred times before. It tastes just the same. It’s actually better. You get TWO.’

‘I WANT WHOLE ONE.’ The sobbing continued.

I looked up at Frederick. ‘Go find some chocolate. Or a lollipop. Or a fudging cake. Anything that’s full of E-numbers or bad fat. Go now. We’re meant to be leaving to go see the dinosaurs in a few minutes.’ I looked over at the teacher rallying the parents and children into a line outside the Marine Invertebrates room. He shot off.

Gigi continued to sob with the word ‘biscuit’ and ‘doll’ being screamed in amid the snot and tears. Florence was now sitting quietly, holding the doll tight in her arms.

‘Florence, how about you take the dolly and go stand by that door? You know the big one over there where that man is sitting?’ Florence wouldn’t even make eye contact with me, let alone acknowledge what I was saying. She continued to sit clasping the doll.