I was the first to Table Eight. I took a seat and waited for my assigned charges to arrive. I had scanned over Dugdale’s email on the WAF initiative on the way. All our mobiles and laptops were set up so that Platform Eight encrypted emails looked like junk mail. What looked like a HORNY_AS_F$*K!!! announcement from a busty underwear-clad teenager could actually be decrypted by entering our unique authorisation code. We had five minutes to read it before it reverted to an image of someone promising all manner of things in exchange for a credit card number.

Three potential Snakes. Three partners I needed to get to know in order to find out exactly who was hiding what. Gossiping that was really intelligence-gathering.

I looked up as three women approached me, all holding cups of tea.

The first to reach me was wearing a purple shirt, black trousers and a warm, open smile. She had a round face and long, curly hair.

‘Hiya! I’m Naomi Bowcott. We all actually found each other at the table plan.’ Naomi motioned to the two women beside her. ‘This is Kate Hicks and Dionne Patterson.’

Kate had her long, brown hair down, long limbs encased in a black jumpsuit. Dionne was a blonder, younger, scruffier version, her hair up in a messy half-bun and wearing paint-stained dungarees.

‘Lovely to meet you all,’ I said as they all sat down at the table. ‘I’m Alexis. I work for the Government Communication and Data Specialisation Branch.’ I smiled at the three women in front of me. I was confident my job sounded dull enough they wouldn’t ask any questions.

‘I’m here as your “We are Family” liaison to help guide you through the process. Now, it’d be great if we could start by you saying a little about yourselves?’

Naomi cleared her throat. ‘Well, I’ve been married to Ronald for nearly twenty years now. Two girls aged eight and thirteen . . . yes, teens are as terrible as everyone tells you!’ She gave a little laugh and quickly took a sip of her tea. I knew from their file that Naomi had met Daddy Pig when they worked together at an insurance company, and he had left to join Six a few years after they got married.

‘Right, so I’m Dionne,’ said the blonde, denim-dungareed woman next to her. She had an Australian – or was it New Zealand? – accent. She looked to be in her mid-twenties. I glanced down at my notes, trying to place her. ‘I work as a nanny for Suze Sheldon. Suze is a single mother, so yep, I guess I’m her significant other.’ She grinned round at us all. ‘Suze has a two-year-old called Bella. She’s at nursery right now so thought I might as well come and meet the gang.’ She reached for a biscuit. Peppa’s right-hand woman.