‘Well, don’t you think it’s outrageous that they are marketing themselves as a Montessori nursery yet one of the key members of staff has no Montessori qualification?’

‘Yes. Absolutely.’ I read the situation and figured agreeing was the only option.

‘I’m going to—’ Canada Goose mum was cut off by Frederick’s arrival at my side.

‘Afternoon, ladies.’

‘You’re Florence’s dad, correct?’

‘Yes. I have no name of my own.’

The mum ignored him and repeated what she had just told me.

‘Good God, but what are we are paying those hugely inflated fees for then?’ he replied monotonously.

‘Yes. Quite. I’m going to petition the owners. I . . .’

She abandoned the conversation upon seeing the nursery doors open and jostled past the other parents to get to the front of the queue. The rest of us obediently lined up.

‘How was the WAF play date yesterday?’

‘It was great. You have a beautiful home.’

‘Thank you. It was a lot of work and a lot of meetings but I’m very happy with how it all turned out.’ Again, it didn’t surprise me that Frederick had taken the lead in the house renovation. He really was gunning for Superhusband of the year – early morning shifts with the kids, writing out Wow cards, helping his wife with her work, managing the house build, and all that with a full-time job that was more demanding than most.

‘What have we got here?’ Frederick reached down to the ground and picked up a Cinderella Barbie with a missing head. He waved it at me. ‘Don’t you find there’s nothing more ominous than a doll with a missing body part?’ He ran a finger over the neck stump. ‘An innocent subject. Butchered.’ He propped the headless doll up on the steps. She did look a little terrifying, a victim of a brutal crime, still perfectly dressed in her grand blue ball gown.

‘You could start up the West London Mafia and that could be your calling card to your enemies. Forget horses’ heads at the end of the bed, you can do decapitated Disney princesses.’

He laughed. ‘You’d be my first hire. I don’t think I’d do too well as a sinister mob boss without you by my side.’

We smiled at each other.

It was nice he found me funny.

When did I last make Will laugh?

When did I last try to?

Florence and Gigi came out together and stomped down each step of the Portakabin. They were each brandishing yet another folder of splodged artwork.

‘Hello, poo poo head,’ said Gigi to me.

‘Hello, poo poo head,’ copied Florence to Frederick.

The girls erupted into giggles.

‘Now, Florence. We don’t talk like that, do we?’ said Frederick with a straight face.