In case Tenebris hadn’t done enough to hurt our country, they had now inconvenienced all of London with their invasion of Platform Eight. I winced as I dropped my keys on the hallway table. I should really have gone straight to the Kensington Wing to get stitched up but I was exhausted. And after an evening of close calls I’d just wanted to get home, stare at Gigi and be grateful for still getting back to her. I walked into her room and checked on her. She was fast asleep. I got into her bed and lay beside her, stroking her hair.

My mind was whirring with everything that was going on. What the hell had tonight been about? This mission was always going to be tough, but being attacked on our home turf?

I stared at Gigi’s soft round cheeks and her long eyelashes, and listened to the sound of her deep breathing. I tried to think only of her and not work. My little biter. Was this new habit something else I should be feeling guilty about? Was she lashing out as I wasn’t around enough?

Could I be a better mother if I wasn’t a Rat?

Would I be menu-planning for the week, checking her developmental chart, ticking off milestones, pushing her forward to the next one? Slicing and dicing for homemade casseroles? Was I doing enough to make Gigi the best she could possibly be? Did I see her enough? Did I do enough with her? Was she watching too much television?

Could I be a better Rat if I wasn’t a mother?

Would I be taking those extra weekend training courses? Brushing up on my special skills. Slicing and dicing in a different way. Was I doing enough? Or just doing enough to get by? Was I pushing myself like I used to? Or just waiting to clock out and get home to my family?

Questioning myself never ended.

I shook it off.

Tonight could’ve ended badly but it didn’t. I was here, pretty much intact, ready to fight another day. And Gigi was here. She was safe. She was happy. I was doing this.

I gently rolled out of Gigi’s bed and left her bedroom. I got carefully into my bed and popped a couple of high-strength paracetamol. I was glad Will wasn’t here. Faking being normal would’ve been more effort than I could manage right now. I’d go straight to the Kensington Wing as soon as I’d dropped Gigi at nursery.

Tenebris were spooked. We were close. The invasion proved that. Tomorrow could be a big step forward in shutting them down.