I arrived in time to see Dionne enter the church hall with Peppa’s daughter, Bella. Robin came up beside me.

He nodded towards the stream of mothers, nannies and toddlers going into the church. ‘There’s a buggy parking area round the side but it’s overlooked by the whole hall.’

‘OK, I’ll go look. What kind of buggy is it?’

Robin frowned. ‘Black? With wheels?’

I realised that although I may be able to recognise and list buggy brand names as easily as if they were cars, this talent may not extend to childless colleagues.

He stretched and yawned. ‘Sorry, late night.’ I noticed he was in the same clothes as yesterday.

‘Stuck with Peng?’

‘Stuck in Shawna.’ He reached out for a high five. I left him hanging. ‘We got talking on the Northern line one night and just had our third date.’ He sighed. ‘She’s so beautiful she makes my balls ache.’

‘Robin, we talked about this.’

‘You said girls liked compliments? I want to marry her.’

I looked at him smiling to himself. Robin had been a trainee Rat for coming up to three years now – nearly double the time it took most Rats, including Jake and me. Despite this Robin had never really complained – the odd jibe about it being time to move on was as far as he got. Finding someone so upbeat and nice in this industry was rare. He never had dark moments or silent moods you had to tiptoe around. I realised a lot of why I was stalling on Robin graduating from Whistle was because, as much as I complained about him and his crap jokes, I would miss having him around. And that wasn’t fair.

‘I’m going to talk to Jake about you getting your own unit.’

‘Really? You mean it?’ He grinned. ‘Thanks, Mum.’ And held out his arms for a hug.

I waved him off. ‘Just get back to the Platform. I’ve got this.’

He blew me a kiss as he walked away, whistling to himself.

Everyone was always in a better mood when getting some. Maybe that’s what Will and I needed to do. Have more sex. Maybe then we’d argue less. Although when to fit it in? I thought of our plans for the week. Scheduling sex. Sexy.

There was a ‘Buggy Park’ sign with an arrow pointing round the side of the church. I turned the corner to be confronted with around thirty buggies.

I checked each one. A plastic bag with a green logo. That’s all I was looking for.

It was on buggy number twenty that I finally found it. I opened it.

Poo.

Poo in a small pair of Princess pants.

Bella was clearly not doing so well at the potty-training.