It did not have the effect I had hoped for. What I had said was such a direct contravention of the respect Michael demanded from the world that I fully expected him to launch himself out of his seat, cheeks scarlet and thinning black hair in disarray, bearing me to the ground under his flailing weight. Instead he smiled, a tight little grimace that held back inside whatever reaction he might have had, and after a moment quietly replied, ‘It was not easy for me to come and see you, James. I am fully aware that, unlike the others, you never really liked me. I thought, however, that you might be the most likely to listen to reason, despite your personal feelings. Talk gets around, and if even half of it is accurate then Francis needs help. Help that neither you nor I are qualified to offer. You would not be serving his best interests by denying him the support that I can afford. Furthermore I might provide a bridge back to his father and family, something you are hardly well placed to accomplish. This ridiculous estrangement is damaging them both. I think that if you would allow yourself to calm down for one moment, you would see that I am right.’

As he spoke he chopped the air with the flat of his hand, a trick he deployed from the debating podium. He let his sentences flow and expand, until they acquired an inexorable rhythm. If anyone else had said this to me, or if it had been put in a different way, perhaps my reason would have broken through the roiling, irrational anger that clouded my mind, shedding light. Perhaps if I had just been less tired, or less in the mood for a fight. But it seemed to me that Michael had deliberately couched this in such terms that to do the right thing, I would have to accept a humiliating defeat at his hands. He had asked me to suspend my petty jealousies, and was trying to score points in the process. The hypocrisy of it was unbearable. I simply could not allow him to be right.

‘What authority do you have to talk about his best interests? The only interests you know anything about are your own. If you came here to make yourself feel better about what you did, don’t bother. I hear you’re doing well for yourself – enjoy it. I hope it lasts, I hope you don’t get fucked over the way you fucked us over. But don’t you dare come back to me and tell me about how to be a good friend. You sold that right a long time ago. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck YOU!’

He raised his hands, palms out towards me like buffers. I rolled to a halt against them and stood panting. He stood up and took his coat off the arm of the chair. At his full height he was even more impressive. He looked older than when I had last seen him, and calmer. Success was starting to take the edge off his insecurity. ‘I’m sorry you feel like that, James, for Francis’s sake and for mine. If you need anything, let me know. You seem to be doing all right for yourselves these days. Some scheme of Lisa’s no doubt, but if you need any money it was a good summer for me too. You don’t need to speak to me about it personally if that would be a barrier, I’ve instructed Coutts that they’re to give you any sum up to two thousand. If you want more I’m afraid we’ll have to consult, however briefly. The number of my private banker is on the desk. Whatever you may think of me, I trust you not to steal. I think you’re a decent chap, so please don’t disappoint me the way I seem to have disappointed you.’