It was hard to even imagine such selflessness. A foreign concept to me, who had always put myself first.

“You look tired,” she mused, by way of greeting. “Have a good day?”

I nodded, shuffling on the spot. Should I continue to stand? Ask her to sit down? I swallowed hard, my mouth drying up too quickly. “Yeah—I—Yeah, it was good.”

“Were you out with Orla? How is she?”

“No, actually. I wasn’t. I was out with—um—someone else.”

Her back was turned to me but there was no disguising the way her whole body stiffened up. She placed the last stack of plates down on the counter and wiped her hands on the front of her jeans before she finally turned to me. Her face was neutral, devoid of all discernible emotions, before she inhaled ever so slightly and relaxed, leaning back against the press.

“You making new friends?” She asked gently, her voice still impartial in tone, body language inoffensive and easy. I tapped my fingers against the table and nodded again, keeping my eyes on the floor between us. I cleared my throat and inhaled, wriggling my toes around in my shoes.

“Yeah. I, um—I am. I made a new friend.”

“Well, what’s her name?”

I could feel the echo of my heart in my throat. “Julia. Her name is Julia.”

Claire offered me what I assume was meant to be an encouraging smile, crossing her arms against her chest. “Let’s sit down.”

She followed me over to the table and took a seat across from me. My own breathing was shaky but she seemed calm and at ease, inhaling and exhaling steadily. I waited for her as she closed her eyes briefly before she seemed settled enough to speak. “You know, Alex…When you were growing up, I always used to wonder if I was doing a bad job. You were never a bad child—ever. You could be a little snarky, when you wanted, but you were always good and mannerly and polite. Never affectionate, of course. You never really…You never really connected with anyone, I felt. You loved your grandparents, that was obvious, and you loved me…But in some ways, I always still worried about you. I mean, you liked being on your own.” She sucked in a deep breath and I shifted my weight to my other foot.

“Why…Why are you telling me this?”

“Just listen, alright? See…then you met Connie. Alex…I’d never seen a change so dramatic in any person before. You were off doing all these things you never wanted to do before, off meeting all these new people. You talked more, stopped spending time on your own so much…I wanted to worry about you because I thought to myself—fuck, what the hell is going on here? But then…all I had to do was look at you and I knew I was wrong. Where you were only ever content before you were happy, now. You’d met someone who brought out something amazing in you and I don’t know—understood you, maybe, the way nobody else had before. I realized what you were looking for all your childhood was just someone to connect with. That was what you needed.