‘Pilings, my love, pilings. Not stilts …’

‘… pilings, then. They were OK with it?’

He nods. She seems appeased by this. Good. She gives up on the document and leans over him, pressing her breasts against his chest and her mouth against his. It takes all his willpower not to rip her clothes off. He should get a medal, he thinks.

She rolls off him and lies beside him, basking in the victory that is contained in all thirty-six pages of the contract. Their house is going to be real. Their dream house. It’s incredible, a dream come true. Her mood soars, but Tom is returning to the reason why he looked so glum earlier. He’s complaining, whingeing. She wants him to shut the hell up. They’ve just won governmental consent to build their dream home here in Norway, for heaven’s sake. What is there to complain about?

‘… and the issue I have with that is that it’s completely unnecessary. It’s a tick box requirement. We’re in Norway, above a fjord. We have the best air quality in the world.’

She rolls over on to her side, cupping her abdomen as it slides to the mattress. ‘I’m still not following …’

He explains that a mechanical air ventilation system will require energy. He’s been insistent on the house being completely eco-friendly, off-grid, producing more energy than it consumes, blah blah blah. She yawns and does her Kegels, thinking about fittings for the new bathroom as she clenches the hammocked muscles of her pelvic floor.

‘More than three quarters of land on earth …’

‘… has been modified by humans. Yeah, I know, Tom. You’ve mentioned it a few thousand times before.’

‘I’m just saying. I’m not being a pain in the arse …’

‘You are, Tom. You are.’

‘All right, but it’s about … look, if I just abandon my principles and overlook what really matters despite being an architect and, you know, aware of how we’re destroying the planet, then what hope is there for the next generation, huh? For Gaia and Coco?’

She stops clenching, a little out of breath. ‘Isn’t diverting a river modifying the land?’

‘Aurelia, you asked me to change the course of the river. You picked the spot where we would build …’

‘I know I did …’

‘The river’s still going to be there. It’ll just … bend a little. So it becomes part of the aesthetics of the house.’ He’s stumped by her calling him out like this. Frustrated, even. He hadn’t wanted to touch the river. He’s invested in making this house as eco-friendly as possible. ‘You’re saying you didn’t want me to divert the river?’

She sighs. ‘All I’m saying is I really don’t think installing a mechanical ventilation system in a house is going to melt the ice caps …’