I write everything here because I simply can’t breathe a word of this to anyone. To everyone that knows us, we’re the perfect couple, and Tom is the perfect husband.

Who would believe me?

   28   

THE SUSPECTS

Now

We spent what felt like centuries trawling through the forest, shouting for Gaia. Derry and Clive climbed down the ladder to the bottom of the cliff and starting wading through the fjord in case she had fallen in. When they shouted up I saw Tom’s face – he went maggot-pale and seemed to stagger backwards, and I knew instantly what he was thinking – that they’d found his daughter drowned in the fjord. Not a year after his wife was found drowned, too.

But they were shouting to signal that there was no sign of her. Maren called the police, and Derry ran up to the road in case she’d wandered that far. Tom and I stumbled through the forest.

‘Gaia!’ Tom shouted through the dark, his voice breaking. ‘Please, if you’re here – answer me! I promise you’re not in any trouble.’

My torchlight landed on a shape that didn’t seem to belong to the forest. It was at the base of one of the huge conifer trees. I raced to it, my heart beating so fast I didn’t think my legs would make it.

It was Gaia, curled up in a ball at the bottom of the tree. She was unconscious. Her lips were blue, and no wonder – it was below zero and she was barefoot, dressed only in a nightdress.

I called for Tom and he came racing. He took Gaia from my arms roughly, but I didn’t mind. At that moment I thought she was going to die. I clasped my hands to my face and began to weep as he staggered back into the house with her, and when I fell to my knees in the snow I prayed to everything and anything that she would be all right.

The doctor came about an hour later. His bedside manner was cold, and I sensed he was displeased with our household of five adults who hadn’t prevented a young child from venturing into the hostile wilderness for several hours. He said she could be treated at home, and prescribed warm compresses, hot soup, and blankets. We were not, he said firmly, to leave her under any circumstances.

Tom lit the fire in the living room, arranging logs and coal and stoking it until it was roaring hot. I said I would sleep beside Gaia on the floor while Tom looked after Coco. Gaia stirred around eight o’clock in the morning. I sat beside her, making sure she was tucked in properly and that she could focus on me. If she wasn’t able to focus it was a sign that she was delirious or dehydrated.