Another of my brother’s strange and discouraging habits is suggesting I’m probably guilty of everything I criticise others for. If I get an uncooked chicken breast in a restaurant and complain, he points out that I once served him an inedible meal; if I say a politician’s a hypocrite for dodging inheritance tax and then condemning tax avoidance, he reminds me of the time I said everyone should give blood and then chickened out because I’m scared of needles.

If I’m murdered, Drew will appear on the TV news and tell the nation that, however unfortunate Billy’s actions might have been, mine also, frankly, had always left a lot to be desired.

According to my brother’s rules, nothing bad can be allowed to have happened to me, nor may I notice wrongs done. It’s a form of protection from harm that’s anything but reassuring.

‘On the surface, Drew was keen to welcome me to the Hopwood family,’ I tell Waterhouse. ‘He’d just lost his mum. As a bloke who doesn’t like to be short-changed, he knew he was down to the tune of one close relative and he was happy to be able to fill that gap. Marion and Trevor went along with the “Of course you’re one of us” routine – probably to please Drew – but there was a silent, non-negotiable condition attached to all of this: nobody was allowed to mention the backstory.’

‘You mean—’

‘Everything I’ve just told you: my adoption, Drew’s planned adoption, Marion not being able to go through with it, Elaine hating her and Trevor as a result, my miserable childhood with the Tribbecks. We all had to pretend nothing out of the ordinary had happened, that Drew and I were equal members of the family who’d never been treated at all differently … I went along with it at first, but it soon started to rankle. I didn’t have the guts to walk away, so I rebelled covertly, hinting whenever I could at the traumatic experience I’d had that my brother hadn’t. That’s what really set them against me: I was a troublemaker, determined to rake up horrible things from the past. I didn’t want to be like that but the enforced silence got too much for me. Marion never apologised, or acknowledged any aspect of what happened to me. Instead, she behaved as if I’d chosen to go on a very long holiday, then reappeared with the sole intention of putting a dampener on everyone else’s happiness.’

‘I have to ask, because I know you could have; you had plenty of opportunity … Did you kill Marion?’

‘No. Cancer and Billy Dead Mates did, between them.’

‘Did you know, or know of, any of the four other victims: Linzi Birrell, Rhian Douglas, Angela—’